Last week I hit another milestone birthday — 35! As such, I’m reflecting on the most life-changing and mindset-altering lessons I’ve learned in my life thus far. If you missed last week, and want to get caught up, you can read it here.
Here is the second half of my 35 Reflections on life, business, relationships, and self-love.
- Be who you desire to be. Then discover what you’re meant to do. This is my M.O. in life.
- People pleasing and permission seeking are close cousins. When you are clear on who you are and what you want, you need to enroll people into your plans vs. seeking their permission or approval. I’ve written more about this here and here.
- Ask for help when you need it. We were never meant to do this thing called life alone. We don’t need to struggle or succeed alone. I believe we all have a fundamental need to help and be of service to others. When we allow ourselves to be seen and ask for help, we gift relationship and trust to another.
- Own your wins, girlfriend! Life is about the journey, not the destination. If you aren’t enjoying yourself along the way, what do you think it’s going to feel like when you get wherever you think you’re headed? You’ll never know because you won’t stop long enough to realize you’ve gotten there. 😉
- Feedback is golden. Begin listening for the “gold” in other’s feedback for you. What if it wasn’t an assessment of your personal character and it was simply a reflection of another’s care for your potential?
- There is no first in “us.” Me choosing to say I’m sorry or be vulnerable first is a win for us.
- Don’t take things personally. Everything we say and do is a projection of our own reality. This has been a game changer for me! This book is a must-read for virtually all of my clients. Here’s a great practice, next time, you’re triggered by someone; instead of reacting, practice having compassion and getting curious how this is a projection of their reality (and has nothing to do with you)? “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” (The Second Agreement in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz)
- Workaholism is an addiction just like any other. I’ve written about it here and here. Practice working to live, instead of living to work.
- Date yourself. The closer your relationship is with yourself, the closer you’ll be able to connect with others. Go date you! One of my favorite self-love rituals is to take myself out on a weekly date. One of my favorites is to visit the U.S. Botanical Gardens on a weekday afternoon and hide away in the orchid room taking in all the colors and smells and then spend the afternoon reading outside in one of their cushioned chairs.
- Your “ideal” can become your “real.” One of the most powerful breakthroughs I’ve experienced to date has been in making my ideal schedule my actual schedule. Create a blank weekly schedule, and wipe from your mind all your current responsibilities. Then, create your ideal calendar the way you’d like it to look, schedule in work, breaks, self-care, all the aspects of your schedule that if you were implementing on a regular basis would make a massive difference in your day-to-day experience. Then begin line item by line item, implementing it into your actual schedule until your ideal schedule has become your life.
- Declare your bodacious goals out loud. You must be willing to declare what you want and speak into the future you’re creating for yourself, versus what you’ve created in the past. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve declared outright bodacious goals to my coach, only to find myself laughing out loud at myself upon realizing I fulfilled the very thing I didn’t believe to be possible.
- Master your time or it will master you. You will be a victim to your time until you choose to master it. We ALL have the same number of hours in a day, how do you think others with more life circumstances than you do, not only survive but thrive?
- To love is to be vulnerable. Go watch Brene Brown’s Netflix original, “The Call to Courage.” She so beautifully explains that vulnerability is the pathway to being seen and being loved. To love is to be vulnerable. Many of us would rather not be loved than risk being vulnerable.
- Comparisonitis is not your friend. Honor the people that surround you, and in the process, you’ll start to honor yourself more.
- Be a lifelong learner. Not because you’re still trying for straight As to prove that you’re good enough, but because you’re curious and when you get out of your own head, you will discover just how big the world is.
- Admit when you’re wrong. The greatest leaders I know are the ones who will admit when they’re wrong. When you lead from the front and model something for your team, you pave the way for change. Authentic leadership doesn’t mean you can’t own your mistakes.
- Take a risk on you. Resigning from my government job was the single most scary decision I’ve ever made in my life, and I literally cannot imagine what my life would be like today had I not. I am what I am today because I took a risk on me. No one else will until you do.
- Make choices from a place of love. At the end of the day, it fundamentally comes down to this – choose from fear, or choose from love.
To unlocking your potential,
P.S. STAY TUNED for information coming soon about the 2020 PACK Retreats! Check the website on May 15th, when details will be published.