Aug 06, 2020 | Your Business
My Sweet Excuse, You are Not the Boss of Me Anymore Part 1 of 2
Do you know what your go-to excuse is?
The one-liner you keep in your back pocket in case you need to talk your way out of doing something (something you likely really want and are simply afraid of)?
The familiar knee-jerk response that seems reasonable and others believe?
I hear a lot of them in my line of work. It’s kind of why my line of work exists. 😉
Think about it – we all let ourselves off the hook (we are human, after all). We let ourselves off the hook from taking action, from following through, from being our word.
Perhaps you let yourself off the hook from…
…quoting your new client your current rate because you did just increase them after all and you *know* she’s more likely to say yes if the price is lower.
…fully jumping into your business and setting aside that time as non negotiable because if you keep one foot in and one foot out at least you’ll have your day job to fall back on.
…working out daily as you’ve said you wanted to for the umpteenth time because you’re just so sleepy this morning.
…submitting your deliverable to your client on time because what’s one more day and you do want it to be perfect!
Is any of this starting to sound familiar?
Excuse #1: Not enough time
If you let yourself off the hook with this excuse, you may say things like:
“I just didn’t have time to get it done today either hunny, my workday was too busy.”
“Wow, sorry I was late! There was so much traffic this morning.”
“Gosh, I never seem to have enough time to work out! There’s just too much to do.”
When we blame not showing up on time or following through on what we said we would do to not having enough time, we typically have a belief gap in integrity.
Take a look at your relationship to your word. Are your beliefs, speaking, and actions in alignment with each other? This is what the Dalai Lama famously said about integrity, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”
One place to practice reprogramming this disempowering habit is to begin making and honoring your own boundaries around time — start and end meetings on time, show up early for all your commitments for a week and notice what your experience of your schedule is like differently. You can download a copy of my fillable ideal schedule tool (which completely changed my life!) here
Excuse #2: Not enough money
Money can be a tricky excuse because sometimes we will look at our bank accounts and validate our story that we clearly do NOT have enough money. But typically that excuse is much deeper than what our bank account tells us. This excuse may sound like:
“Wow, I’m so jealous of your clothing! I wish I could buy myself something nice.”
“Gosh, I wish I could afford your services but I just don’t make enough in my business to afford you.”
“I can’t join you ladies. I’m trying not to spend any money this year!”
Now while on the surface level, these statements may be valid and make money sense.
Oftentimes our money choices say a lot more about our self-worth than they say about our net-worth.
Some questions to consider here, what is your relationship to your self-worth? If you’re weighing a business investment, ask yourself “What will the future version of myself have to say about this investment and what it will help me to create in my business?”
This week, begin to identify your wants and needs for yourself. When we become connected with these deeply unfulfilled parts of ourselves (like our self-care, what fills us with pleasure, or is fun for us), we can begin to meet these needs for ourselves and shift our relationship with ourselves and what we believe we’re deserving and worthy of. When clients come to me with coaching requests around their business pricing structures, I let them know that “You can charge whatever you say you’re worth.” Establishing a morning routine and prioritizing self-care is one of the single starkest differences you can begin to implement immediately to transform your money story. Hard to believe? I dare you to try it!
Next Friday, I will share more about the 3rd and 4th most common excuses I hear with clients and how you can overcome each of them. They may surprise you!
You are a powerful being and I believe in you.
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Empathy for Change with Amy J. Wilson
I am so delighted and thrilled to have my esteemed friend, Amy J. Wilson here with us today. Amy is a change leader, community builder, movement maker, and an empathy advocate. She is the author of Empathy for Change: How to Build a More Understanding World, a guide to create positive, compassionate change where we work, live, and play. All of this guides our conversation as we cover the different types of empathy and why they are important, dismantling current power structures and rebuilding them with empathy at the core, prioritizing rest, and so much more. Being empathetic does not mean you lack power, and this episode is going to tell you why – enjoy!
Visit this episode’s show notes page here.