Why we shouldn’t avoid the pain of learning life’s lessons [Graduates 🎓Part 2 of 2]

When the weather turns warm each year, we also experience this life milestone of graduation. ‘Tis the season for caps and gowns, parties, and celebrations, and launching off into new and uncharted territory for our graduates. For some, it’s going off to college, and for others it’s letting go of the comforts of school and routine and starting careers.

Last week I shared with you many of the lessons I’ve learned about myself as I’ve looked back on my life, and who I thought I was when I graduated high school and started college.

I’ve realized what I thought I knew then, and what I definitely know now, weren’t always sympatico.

Since discovering more of who I am, and what my core values are, I’ve had some major life pivots.

And those pivots can hurt. But, the pain that comes from learning those lessons is part of the process!

We often want to avoid the pain that comes from learning about ourselves the hard way.

We want to go back and undo those wrong choices and save ourselves time and heartache.

We wish we could say to our 20-something self, “Hey, don’t waste your time on that career path, you’re ultimately gonna land over there. Go pursue in that direction.”

But take heart. Those bumps, bruises, and wasted time, are not wasted at all.

However, if I could spare you any discomfort, or any extra laps around the block, here’s what I’d most like to encourage you with, it’s to find out what you want and what your core values are.

What matters most to you?

Not what your parents want for you, or your boyfriends or girlfriends, but what do you really want?

I didn’t get this until much later in life, and in fact, I’ve chronicled more of this journey here.

The biggest “adulting” lesson I’ve learned in life is that in order to unlock your potential as a human being you need to be committed to asking for what you want, and not expect anyone else to fulfill that wish for you. It’s up to you.

That might seem scary at first, but dear one, this is part of the journey as well.

I invite you start small and start practicing this self discovery by using this muscle of asking for what you want this week. Without apology. Without fear.

Try this practice this week, of asking yourself each day, “What do I want in this moment?” A helpful reminder is to print and post it on a post-it note where you can remind yourself of this inquiry. Physical reminders (such as visual displays or phone alarms) are often times necessary when we’re teaching ourselves a new way of being and incorporating a new behavior.

You are worthy and deserving of your dreams.