Aug 02, 2019 | Your Business
What your mindset about change says about you
Many people are surprised to hear that as a coach Iāve been working with my own coach on a weekly basis for the past 6 years. In fact, Iāve worked with 3 coaches during that time frame.
You can imagine Iāve received some of the same reflections over the years from each of them. Theyāve all had different styles and distinct voices.
Yet, Iāve heard both their and my own reflections and insights for myself only when I was ready to hear them.
Fundamentally, thatās why I believe that coaching is more effective than a consulting approach to personal development. Weāre much more likely to implement things when weāve come to realize on our own how weāre getting in our own way and sabotaging our own goals.
When we capitalize on our own strengths and develop our businesses, write our books, discover our own voice (the authentic version of ourselves), thatās when weāll thrive.
But, itās all a process and a journey.
With my first coach, I discovered what it was like to live a life where I love myself unconditionally for who I was (including all the quirks too). I learned to love myself independent of accomplishing goals or other moving targets.
(Iām excited to share more about this in my book that will be published next spring. The working title is I Just Want to Date Myself, and it explores the intersection of self-love, the importance of celebrating ourselves, and finding meaning outside of our work through spending quality time with ourselves and others. If this book resonates for you, Iād love to hear from you as Iām still looking for people to interview who have a great story of celebrating themselves or have developed a personal passion or hobby over the years.)With my second coach, I learned that I was capable of putting down my eternal need to be right. This may sound pretty innocuous, but you guys, I was right all the time, verbally or in my own head, it didnāt matter.
A linchpin for me to prove my own inherent worthiness.
Right = Good enough = Worthy of love (my own or someone elseās).
As Iām sure you can imagine, this was also the single biggest obstacle to my getting that deepest need actually met.
With my current coach, weāve been coaching a lot around fine-tuning my business, business processes, and systems. Weāve been exploring procrastination, time management, and tools to leverage peak performance.
While many things have come naturally to me in my business, some of the things that havenāt come as easy are all of the performance improvements. This has been my focus with my coach over the past year and a half.
Donāt get me wrong, they havenāt been easy to implement, but the techniques and productivity hacks are simple.
Are there changes you want to make in your life and business too?
One of the biggest mindset shifts for me to affect change and effectiveness in my business has been this lesson…
Most change is simple. Change is complicated by our free will or lack thereof.
Once I was able to transform some of my limiting beliefs and fears, change has been much simpler to implement.
My guess is this is true for you too.
Most conversations I have with clients about change revolve around a willingness-based mindset versus an ability-based one.
Thatās both good and bad news for most.
Itās bad news because most people want a simpler answer. Tell me what to do. Give me the magic sauce. Whatās the secret?
The good news because you already ARE the secret youāve been looking for!
Perhaps, unlike me when I started, youāve already done a lot of the deeper personal development work to heal your relationship with yourself, and youāre in a place to begin implementing change right now.
If thatās you, youāre gonna love the newsletters over the next month! I will be providing you with many of the tools and habits that have greatly leveraged my project management skills and productivity over the past year.
On the other hand, perhaps you find yourself in a place of curiosity and seeking as to how can you begin living the life today that you hope to someday…
If this is you, I want to leave you with a practice. Itās a simple practice, but I can tell you that the impact of it has been life-changing for me.
In fact, itās been the entire inspiration for my book.
Hereās your practice
I want you to take yourself out on a date this week.
I donāt care where you go, how much money you (do or donāt) spend.
As long as it feels aligned and exquisite to you.
I want you to practice treating yourself the way you would like to be treated by another.
And I want you to rediscover (or delight in) spending time with yourself –
ā What do you enjoy about spending time with yourself?
ā What do you appreciate about your own sense of humor?
ā When you give your mind permission to decide for itself, whatās it like to meet your own needs?
I want you to star this email. Go ahead and do it right now, so you donāt forget.
Alright, all set?
After your date, I want you to come back to this email and simply hit reply and tell me what it was like. What did you discover about yourself? How did you spend your date? What did you do?
This is accountability for you, I know how it goes. We get busy, we have good intentions, but we donāt make it happen.
So are you ready for an extra accountability structure?
Open your calendar right now, and block of the day/time in your phone right now when youāre going to take yourself out on a date.
If anyone tries to book you during that time frame, no worries, just tell them youāre busy and offer them a different time that youāre available.
I get so much joy out of taking myself out on dates!
My favorite is going to the Botanical Gardens in Washington, DC and delighting in the orchid room. I have a couple of orchids at home, and I always appreciate these delicate flowers. If the weatherās nice, I love finding a reading nook outside and spending an afternoon reading in the sun, shade or both.
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Balancing Being and Doing for Embodied Success as an Empathpreneur
As youāre listening to this episode, Iāll be on maternity leave learning to take care of our new baby which is just wild to think about. But, as I prepare for my leave, I have been thinking about what I want to share with you during that time. What am I wanting to bring more voice and power to? What has been really speaking to me is that I want to share more about some of the mindset work that I do with clients because I want you to have a little more access to some of the power and transformation that coaching can open up regardless of wherever you are on your own journey. So these next couple of solo episodes will dive into a different facet of this work that I love. Starting with this idea of ābeingā and ādoingā. As an ambitious empath, I’ve come to deeply appreciate the importance of balancing being and doing in my entrepreneurial journey. I’ve learned that overemphasizing doing can lead to disconnection from our intuitive wisdom and emotional intelligence. By grounding in our essential being, we can tap into our creative potential, make more intentional choices, and experience more joy and fulfillment in our lives. Throughout this episode, Iām sharing six practices you can implement today to strengthen the muscle of balancing being and doing in entrepreneurship. I hope theyāre helpful for you!
Visit this episode’s show notes pageĀ here.
The Prosperous EmpathĀ®Ā PodcastĀ is produced byĀ Heart Centered Podcasting.