Oct 31, 2018 | Your Relationships

The Moving Target of Perfection

Today I want to talk about acknowledgment of not being perfect.

That might sound funny at first, but let me explain.

Before I entered into the world of coaching, I used to live my life in judgment of how I wasn’t getting it right or being perfect.

My day-to-day revolved around that unwinnable game of perfection and always feeling like I was missing the mark.

In my experience, that is the experience of life that so many of us live…

…We’re always gearing for perfection,

…Never being okay with our humanity,

…Never accepting our imperfection,

…Never allowing room for our mistakes,

…Never giving ourselves the gift of loving and accepting ourselves as we are.

I talk to people every week who live in this place of judgment paralysis where they are constantly in self-criticism around what they could’ve done better, what they could’ve gotten more right, or what they could’ve done differently in order to meet the mark.

But they never meet the mark because it’s a moving target.

The same grows from comparison. If we use it as a tool to measure our perfection, there will always be someone better than us or worse than us.

By definition, comparison is a disempowering paradigm. It’s one that we’ve learned, practiced, and formed into a habit.

It’s heartbreaking to think about just how many human beings don’t give themselves the benefit of the doubt and the gift of the of forgiveness that they give to everyone else.

We’re always so much harder on ourselves than on everyone else, and many of us don’t even recognize that within ourselves, let alone commit to having it go differently.

Imagine if it didn’t have to be that way! If you could wake up and truly celebrate who you are. If you could experience joy in the present moment and be grateful for what you have rather than harping on what you don’t have, what’s wrong, what you could’ve done better, etc…

It’s a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, moment-to-moment choice to celebrate who you are rather than who you are not.

In my life and in the lives of my clients, I am so present to the possibility and joy that lies in honoring ourselves for who we are rather than who we are not.

What can you take on this week to practice self-celebration in place of self-judgment paralysis?

What can you imagine will become possible for you in creating this shift?

I look forward to hearing your responses in the comments below.

To acknowledging your perfect imperfections,

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Empathy for Change with Amy J. Wilson

I am so delighted and thrilled to have my esteemed friend, Amy J. Wilson here with us today. Amy is a change leader, community builder, movement maker, and an empathy advocate. She is the author of Empathy for Change: How to Build a More Understanding World, a guide to create positive, compassionate change where we work, live, and play. All of this guides our conversation as we cover the different types of empathy and why they are important, dismantling current power structures and rebuilding them with empathy at the core, prioritizing rest, and so much more. Being empathetic does not mean you lack power, and this episode is going to tell you why – enjoy!

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