Nov 14, 2018 | Your Relationships

The Modern Achilles Heel

This week I want to share something that has been on my heart lately.

It’s the idea around intellectually “knowing” how you’re getting in your own way versus actually being willing to change.

Self help books can be both a gift and a curse. The thing is, you can learn an intellectual knowing of what you’re doing, how you’re self sabotaging, and getting in your own way…

…but the difference between knowing this and actually being willing to change are absolutely distinct conversations.

For some people, their personal knowledge of disempowering patterns can be an Achilles heel because they can talk themselves out of changing or resign themselves to the fact that they can’t create anything new or different.

I spoke to someone recently who has a profound level of self-awareness and intimately knows how she gets in her own way.

It pains me to hear her intellectualize her way out of changing her life.

It’s like she’s settling and resigning herself to the reality that her life is “just the way it is” and she can’t do anything about it. Instead of looking for new avenues of possibility, she has to search for small wins and shortcuts to feel better,  as if giving  herself permission to not have what she actually wants is ever the path to choose.

This shows up in various ways. It may look like focusing on her professional prowess to hedge around a lack of personal fulfillment. Or showing up confidently in the boardroom as a crutch when she has no power in her romantic relationship.

It’s heartbreaking.

The point I am sharing here is the importance of really, truly starting to get curious around the areas of your life where you’re settling or intellectualizing yourself out of making a change, and then focusing on the areas of your life in which you do have the personal power to change.

Oftentimes, by focusing on regaining our personal power in one new area of life, we invite and create the possibility and momentum to change many other areas of our life too.

I invite everyone to start playing this game.

The one that has you get out of your comfort zone.

Because our comfort zone expands and contracts with our willingness to take on something outside of it.

So, will you take your first step outside of your comfort zone right now by declaring your willingness to take on this game of possibility?

If you said “yes,” reach out and tell me more.

To your absolutely unbounded potential,



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Empathy for Change with Amy J. Wilson

I am so delighted and thrilled to have my esteemed friend, Amy J. Wilson here with us today. Amy is a change leader, community builder, movement maker, and an empathy advocate. She is the author of Empathy for Change: How to Build a More Understanding World, a guide to create positive, compassionate change where we work, live, and play. All of this guides our conversation as we cover the different types of empathy and why they are important, dismantling current power structures and rebuilding them with empathy at the core, prioritizing rest, and so much more. Being empathetic does not mean you lack power, and this episode is going to tell you why – enjoy!

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