Jul 19, 2019 | Your Business

The #1 thing we ALL want...[Community Series 3 of 4]

What do you think the #1 reason is why people are drawn to coaching?

You might suggest hot button topics like desiring more confidence, wanting to overcome procrastination, wanting to transition into entrepreneurship full-time, to name a few….

These are often times the initial reasons people hop on the phone with me.

They are more present to problems and obstacles than possibility and opportunity.

What prevents change in and of itself, is that we are naturally bent towards solving our problems versus personal growth.

Who wants to fully commit to something when their perspective is…”How do I stop procrastinating or how can I finally force myself in front of an audience of 100 and speak my truth?”

That doesn’t sound very empowering to me, does it to you?

It sounds more fear-inducing and inertia-prolonging to me.

What I’ve come to realize, is that once we can cut through the BS, the #1 reason people seek out coaching, is they want to improve their relationships.

We want things…

→ in order to spend more quality one-on-one time with our children;

→ in order to get back the lover’s excitement and intimacy in our marriage that we had back in the day;

→ to focus on our friendships that were once so meaningful to us and have gone out the window in the face of looming deadlines and home chores and tasks;

→ in order to finally put aside our constant push towards succeeding professionally, so that we can finally prioritize our personal life and meeting Mr. Right;

→ so that we can have more quiet time with ourselves and rediscover our creative passions and deeply fulfilling hobbies and personal interests.

We never want things to want things.
We want things in service of what they will provide for us.

And the catch is that as soon as we can begin focusing on that deeper meaning behind what we want and we can provide a peek into our desires and our dreams, we become more connected with why we want what we want and ultimately commit to that goal.

I cannot overemphasize this enough.

Six years of conversations with folks week after week, month after month, year after year, and everyone I speak with wants to improve the relationships in their lives in some way or another, whether it’s their familial relationships, their friendships, or their relationship with themselves.

Why wait to improve your relationships?

What I’ve come to see time and time again is that by throwing delayed gratification out the window, and being a stand for my clients to begin reinventing those relationships today, that it provides the energy and focus to also take on your goals simultaneously.

I used to be one of those people who forced myself to wait….

wait to have fun,
wait to eat,
even wait to pee! sometimes,
until I finished that deadline.

And not surprisingly, my relationships suffered as a result. (Read more about it here and here.)

But no more.
I start with relationships.
Everywhere I go.

Why delay what I want for tomorrow when I can prioritize the most important thing in my life today?

I ask you the same.

To being in relationship,

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Empathy for Change with Amy J. Wilson

I am so delighted and thrilled to have my esteemed friend, Amy J. Wilson here with us today. Amy is a change leader, community builder, movement maker, and an empathy advocate. She is the author of Empathy for Change: How to Build a More Understanding World, a guide to create positive, compassionate change where we work, live, and play. All of this guides our conversation as we cover the different types of empathy and why they are important, dismantling current power structures and rebuilding them with empathy at the core, prioritizing rest, and so much more. Being empathetic does not mean you lack power, and this episode is going to tell you why – enjoy!

Visit this episode’s show notes page here.

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