Apr 28, 2022 | Your Business, Your Self
Catherine A. Wood
Finding Comfort in the Discomfort of Being Exquisitely Supported
I had a moment of true discomfort this week and I’m wondering if this resonates for you. 🙏
Now I imagine when you think of the word discomfort, some ideas that may come to mind include stress, anxiety, bloating, financial strain, a difficult conversation, not fitting in your favorite jeans… ughh!
You know, something truly crappy.
I didn’t feel discomfort from anything quite so obvious. I was incredibly uncomfortable after receiving exquisite support.
Has that ever happened to you?
- You know, the experience of being so well supported in your business and life that:
- Contractors do such a good job overseeing home renovation projects from start to finish that you don’t even feel the need to be at home for them?
- Your dad loves his canine grandchildren so much that he’s more than happy to take them out in the morning while you stay cozied up with a good book still in your PJs. Oh and he’ll take your #2 canine daughter to the vet too, no problemo.
- Your long term clients consistently connect you with the most amazing humans and referrals because of how much they value you.
- The team members you hire do such a great job that they consistently exceed your expectations and you literally feel your shoulders low by an inch each time you see an email from them on your behalf in your inbox?
I fully recognize that getting this level of support is an extreme gift and privilege.
It’s also a quality that is 100% learnable.
I cannot tell you how many clients and colleagues I speak with who have crappy support in their lives. They hire and fire people frequently.
Or even worse, they control the crap out of every aspect of their lives, their relationships, and their businesses. They try to do everything on their own. Then, they feel ‘blamy’ and resentful towards their innocent-bystanding partners, when they created that dynamic.
Now you may wonder how I KNOW this dynamic so dang well?
Well, because this 110% used to be me and my experience.
It’s likely one of the greatest contributors to my routinely experiencing burnout, wellbeing breakdowns, and a lack of joy in my business during some of the first years of my business.
When I ‘thought’ I didn’t have the resources to hire a top tier coach and assistant, I limited the amount of support I allowed my team members to support me with. I also limited my access to support, emotional and otherwise, in other areas of my life as well.
Trying to do everything on our own is a learned practice.
Allowing ourselves to be exquisitely supported is learned practice as well.
Which one would you prefer?
Typically, the biggest differentiator between the two is that the former is a default behavior, one we do not realize we’re doing to ourselves. Secondly, you must practice leaning into your edge and the discomfort of being supported.
Your struggle with being supported speaks to your resistance to being seen and asking directly for what you want and need (which is a vulnerable practice for many of us). It results from your people pleasing tendencies and willingness to trust, teach and train others (which requires releasing control)…
…than it does about your human capacity to find the perfect team members and support for you. Let me assure you, the perfect support system is within your reach.
You’re likely a lot closer to finding support within your immediate network than you think. Lean in to request help, referrals and support in finding great fits.
Many of the statistics on entrepreneurship suggest that the biggest stressor entrepreneurs face is loneliness.
Community and support are two of my favorite benefits of our UNBOUNDED Mastermind.
Having team members, colleagues and clients who get excited by my winning as quickly as they offer tangible support and collaboration to my requests for support has made a meaningful difference in my experience of business feeling easier and more joyful.
Expanding your capacity to receive meaningful support in your business and life is a reflection of your capacity to feel worthy and deserving of that support.
To see team members perform work as well or better than I would have, well that’s the cherry on top!
How will you practice expanding your worthiness quotient to receive more or a higher quality of support this week?
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Catherine is a Master Certified Coach and bestselling author of Belonging: Overcome Your Inner Critic and Reclaim Your Joy.
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