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I recorded a podcast earlier this week with a dear friend and colleague who trained with me as a coach back in 2014 and realized something about my business growth that left me speechless.
You see, I’m not one of those people who likes to prepare answers ahead of time because I believe that we always have the ability to learn more about ourselves if we’re willing to be with the discomfort of not knowing and really take a look…
And isn’t that one of the reasons we’re all on this planet anyway, to uncover and become the best version of ourselves so that we can live our most joy-full and heart-felt lives?
I knowwww, I’ll get off my soapbox already.
So back to the podcast, my friend was sharing that he had been watching my growth from the sidelines since the beginning and he was both proud and I think he may have said awe-struck (I’m not sure, I still kinda block compliments like that one out).
He asked me, what do you attribute your success to?
Ooof was my immediate internal response, what an uncomfortable question. I could feel the discomfort in my body. But I sat with his question and really asked myself what made the difference.
Now if you’ve been here for a while, you know my journey has been a long and winding one. I’m certainly what I’d call one of the late-bloomers. There’s no question I had the tools to become successful sooner and knew what it would take, but if we’re being honest here, I was simply unwilling for a hot second.
I was unwilling to face my fears and make the uncomfortable changes that it required to reach my definition of success.
Let’s define success while we’re at it. For me, success is the whole enchilada. There’s certainly a financial component to it, but success is so much more if you’re willing to be uncomfortably honest with yourself. I have spoken with one too many objectively rich individuals who would never self-identify as successful.
Ultimately, holistic success is the experience we all deeply desire. This is the experience of feeling at peace with yourself or dare I say it–satisfied, having a sense of balance between work and the rest of your life (that you love!), empowered and connected relationships, financial freedom, and an experience of full self-expression through your work. What I mean by this last component, is the ability to demonstrate and fully embrace your gifts, values and strengths through your work.
As I was sitting there on the line reflecting on his question, that’s when it hit me, the one change that had made the single biggest difference in my success…
You see, 2020 was a big year for me.
There were many changes both in business and in life. My partner and I bought a home last year and we rescued the most perfect, most beautiful vizslador puppy. In business, I ended two significant business relationships which required a lot of time and energy and I launched our signature UNBOUNDED Mastermind, which is the program I had been dreaming about launching for literally years.
What I’m saying is this, there were a lot of physical changes I made, undoubtedly, but the quality that literally every single one of the changes share in common is this…
I created more space to live comfortably. In a new home with an office that I LOVE, with 5 windows and a separate space for my yoga mat and meditation cushion and in a corner of the house with a door that I can and do close at the end of each work-day. With a fully-fenced backyard for our pup and nearby trails to explore. Our neighborhood feels like a sanctuary.
We all need to be inspired by the environment we want to live in if we are to fully enjoy our work. Create the containers both for your work and for everything else to nurture yourself and allow you to show up as the best version of yourself.
I created more space in my mind. I completed a kundalini yoga teacher training last year for my own personal growth, and in the process fell in love with meditation. My daily meditation practice has single handedly become my greatest outlet for accessing my creative inspiration. Every single day with the 11 minutes I dedicate to the practice.
We all need empty space to hear ourselves think. One of the most common things I hear from prospective clients is this, “If I only knew what I really really wanted, I’d do it…” I don’t buy that. I see this so often, that ultimately we are terrified of creating more space for ourselves so that we can do what we really love. I did this for years…
I created more space in my professional commitments by choosing alignment. We often resist ending business relationships or affiliations from fear. The challenge is that we’re never using the full expression of our gifts if we’re choosing from fear.
If you create more empty space in your calendar, I guarantee you’ll rediscover what you love professionally if you are committed to engaging in the inquiry process.
I created more time. I upleveled my morning routine exponentially last year and my boundaries around work and non-working hours.
I believe we’re terrified of being deeply happy and successful and are scared to create the conditions in life to generate that experience for ourselves.
We’re terrified of creating more space for ourselves so that we can do what we really love.
We very much are living in an achievement epidemic where we–have been and continue to–condition ourselves to believe that we must stay busy and keep achieving to feel happy and satisfied.
It’s a perfect setup for delaying and avoiding fully living your joy-full and heart-felt life.
Our lives are not getting less busy.
Each day, your children grow older and pursue more after-school activities.
Each day, new social media platforms are being launched.
Each day, new external pressures are being asked of you.
Each day, you are likely choosing fear over choosing you.
You are worth the space to breathe deeply.
You are worth the time to recommit to your hobbies and pastimes that used to bring you joy.
You are worth prioritizing the people in your life that you love and make you smile and belly laugh.
You are worth going after those latent dreams that you’ve pushed down so far, you try to deny are still there.
Create more space for yourself this week, this month, this year. You might be shocked with yourself at what you create. And more satisfied with life than you’ve ever known.