• Apr 28, 2022 | Your Business,  Your Self

    Finding Comfort in the Discomfort of Being Exquisitely Supported

    I had a moment of true discomfort this week and I’m wondering if this resonates for you. 🙏

    Now I imagine when you think of the word discomfort, some ideas that may come to mind include stress, anxiety, bloating, financial strain, a difficult conversation, not fitting in your favorite jeans… ughh!

    You know, something truly crappy.

    So you may get a chuckle when I tell you that my moment of discomfort was the consequence of getting exquisitely supported.

    Has that ever happened to you?

    • You know, the experience of being so well supported in your business and life that:
    • Contractors do such a good job overseeing home renovation projects from start to finish that you don’t even feel the need to be at home for them?
    • Your dad loves his canine grandchildren so much that he’s more than happy to take them out in the morning while you stay cozied up with a good book still in your PJs. Oh and he’ll take your #2 canine daughter to the vet too, no problemo.
    • Your long term clients consistently connect you with the most amazing humans and referrals because of how much they value you.
    • The team members you hire do such a great job that they consistently exceed your expectations and you literally feel your shoulders low by an inch each time you see an email from them on your behalf in your inbox?

    I fully recognize that getting this level of support is an extreme gift and privilege.

    It’s also a quality that is 100% learnable.

    I cannot tell you how many clients and colleagues I speak with who have crappy support in their lives. They hire and fire people frequently.

    Or even worse, they control the crap out of every aspect of their lives, their relationships, and their businesses. They try to do everything on their own, and then feel ‘blamy’ and resentful towards their innocent-bystanding partners, when they created that dynamic in the first place.

    Now you may wonder how I KNOW this dynamic so dang well?

    Well, because this 110% used to be me and my experience.

    It’s likely one of the greatest contributors to my routinely experiencing burnout, wellbeing breakdowns, and a lack of joy in my business during some of the first years of my business.

    And even in my first two years, when I ‘thought’ I didn’t have the resources to hire a top tier coach and assistant, not only did I limit the amount of support I allowed these hired team members to support me with, but I also limited my access to support, emotional and otherwise, in other areas of my life as well.

    Trying to do everything on our own is a learned practice.

    Allowing ourselves to be exquisitely supported is learned practice as well.

    Which one would you prefer?

    Typically, the biggest differentiator between the two is that the former is a default behavior, one we do not realize we’re doing to ourselves, and the second requires practice on purpose, and leaning into our edge and the discomfort of being supported.

    Consider that your struggle with being supported says more about your resistance to being seen and asking directly for what you want and need (which is a vulnerable practice for many of us), as well as committing to your own growth and putting down your people pleasing tendencies and being willing to trust, teach and train others (which requires putting down your tendency to control)…

    …than it does about your human capacity to find the perfect team members and support for you. Let me assure you, the perfect support system is within your reach.

    And you’re likely a lot closer to finding them within your immediate network than you think, if you were just willing to start asking for help and referrals and support in finding them, and then in receiving the help and support that is offered to you.

    Many of the statistics on entrepreneurship suggest that the biggest stressor entrepreneurs face is loneliness.

    It’s one of the aspects of our UNBOUNDED Mastermind that I appreciate most, the community and support that is accessible there.

    Having team members, colleagues and clients who get excited by my winning as quickly as they offer tangible support and collaboration to my requests for their support has made a meaningful difference in my experience of my business feeling easier and more joyful.

    Expanding your capacity to receive meaningful support in your business and life is a reflection of your capacity to feel worthy and deserving of that support.

    It’s not a reflection of your luck, your misfortune, your misery, or any other such fate you think you’ve been destined to.

    I will tell you from personal experience that some of my recent greatest joys in the operations side of my business have come from being able to generously pay team members I trust and enjoy to do work that I’m no longer directly responsible for.

    To see them do it as well or better than I would have, well that’s the cherry on top!

    How will you practice expanding your worthiness quotient to receive more or a higher quality of support this week?

     

    ARE YOU READY TO TRULY CREATE YOUR BUSINESS AND LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS?

     

    The UNBOUNDED Mastermind and Group Coaching Signature Program is currently closed for registration, but you can get on the waitlist now to hold your spot.

    All potential registrants are interviewed and spots are filled on a first registered and first paid basis. Maximum of 10 participants per cohort.

    UNBOUNDED provides for a rich and transformative Mastermind and Group Coaching experience that has many exclusive benefits to participants. Benefits of the program include an invaluable community with lifelong business relationships and partnership opportunities; mindset growth work required to truly grow and scale your business; and a business systems framework to uplevel your experience of becoming the master of your business versus being mastered by it.

    Catherine is a Master Certified Coach and bestselling author of Belonging: Overcome Your Inner Critic and Reclaim Your Joy.