Relationship Marketing and Values Alignment with Laura Meyer

Catherine A. Wood  00:00

Well, good morning and welcome back, everyone. We are here with a very esteemed guest and really thrilled to have Laura Meyer on the podcast today. Laura is a she started a community that we were both part of. And I’m really thrilled to have her here to talk about the power of relationships, both from a coach’s perspective, which is mine, and Laura, who’s a really brilliant consultant. Laura, welcome.

Laura Meyer 00:29

Yeah, thank you so much for having me, I really, really appreciate it.

Catherine A. Wood  00:33

You know, I know I really only have known you from afar for the past couple of years. But something that I’ve just always appreciated about you is you can feel how strong your values is in business have, how important they are to you. So I would love for you to share a little bit about who you are and your business so my guests can have a sense of who you are.

Laura Meyer 00:54

Yeah, so I’ve been an entrepreneur for 20 years. And multiple online offline businesses actually had a brick and mortar retail concept that I’ve franchised. I’ve been in the consulting, space, info products. And today, I’m a consultant to high growth nonprofits, as well as some of the country’s top influencers. I have a consulting certification program for people with a professional background, mostly in sales and marketing, who are looking to get into consulting, and then a mastermind for consultants. I’m also a mom to three kids, I live in Southeast Pennsylvania, I have the worst Puppy in my neighborhood sleeping underneath my desk right now. And I also am really kind of addicted to tennis. So that is just a little bit more about me, I’m on three teams this winter, which you know, I really actually have enough time to be on zero teams. But I somehow make it work. And I think through all those experiences over the 20 years, people from the outside might look at somebody like me and think oh, they just the reason why they’ve had a lot of success in business, and they’ve done well is because they just never really the path luck of having somebody in their inner circle with a poor values alignment. And that’s not true at all, I think a lot of my perspective on the values that I have, and the boundaries I have, and the in the commitment that I have towards relationships and relationship marketing has because of the amazing experiences I’ve had in business as a result of the connections and collaborations and relationships that I’ve been blessed with. And also some of the challenging situations that I’ve had. And I think over time, those combined really creates a strong foundation for the types of relationships that you want to be part of that we all want to be part of. And our values have sometimes come out of what isn’t working for us, or what we don’t agree with as much as what we do agree with. And for me, I’ve been an entrepreneur for so many years at this point, entrepreneurship isn’t about trying to get to seven figures, or eight figures or vanity metrics or certain numbers on social media, because you know that all that stuff’s temporary. We’re running businesses as long as I have, what is what is permanent is purpose, right? What is permanent is the work the meaning of the work that we do. And that has to come from values alignment, and that’s why I’m so passionate about it.

Catherine A. Wood  03:27

So when I think about relationship marketing, I think about, you know, for me, I’m in the relationship of cultivating I’m in the business of cultivating relationships, like that’s what relationship marketing means to me. And I’m wondering, do you share that sentiment? Or is it something even more for you? Yeah, I

Laura Meyer 03:46

think relationship marketing can can show up in a variety of different ways. It’s the relationships that we have with the people that trust us enough to recommend that us and to partner with us and to collaborate with us, that are aligned with us enough to put our names next to theirs and vice versa, right. And then just the relationships that we have with our clients. It’s funny, because I’ve been in business for so long. I mean, relationship marketing was the only way to grow a business. Back when I started, you know, I mean, I was running a seven figure business when Zuckerberg was applying to Harvard. So like, it wasn’t like, you know, that was survival. There was no other way. It was getting on lists and getting in with other business owners that shared a client base. And I think in a lot of ways, we’re coming back to that. What’s old is becoming new, again, because people are getting sick of trying to figure out the algorithm every single time that they want to meet a new client. And so there’s that relationship piece right the front facing but then there’s just the back and, and I grew up in local business. That’s how I cut my teeth. And in local business, you really can’t fall down on the back end relationship because everyone He’s gonna find out. Everybody will know in your community if your business under delivered or provided poor customer service like it just isn’t possible. And in the noise of the online space, I think sometimes that under delivery on the back end relationship can kind of happen for a little while. But I do think eventually it catches up with you. So I think they’re equally important. The connection we have with people that have paid us money, and that we have an obligation to serve and the people that are just getting to know us.

Catherine A. Wood  05:32

How I really appreciate that perspective. I’ve never thought about it in terms of the backend and the front facing relationships. How have you noticed that your relationship marketing has evolved over the years in your efforts?

05:49

Yeah, you know, when I came into the online space, about four or five years ago, I was surprised as to how underutilized the strategy was, like I was very everybody seemed to always want to try to get a new client through a launch or through a sales funnel. And I mean, I love launches and sales funnels. I mean, I basically eat them for breakfast as a strategist like a growth strategist. But I was it. That was something that I didn’t realize was a strength until I started speaking to people. I was like, What do you mean, you don’t keep track your leads? Or you don’t keep track your pipeline like, or you’re not like in touch with people every single week and staying top of mind for them? Like, what? How do you have a business? And I started to realize that this was something that offered a unique perspective in the coaching and consulting space. And that’s why I ended up writing the book. And that’s why I really enjoy talking about it, because I think it’s something that everybody has, we all have relationships, we all have people that like us, and trust us, in a lot of ways. We’re out there, like looking for the new person, when we’re sitting on so much goodwill that’s really underdeveloped.

Catherine A. Wood  07:04

It has me curious about if there are shared qualities or characteristics of the relationships that you love nurturing? Yeah,

Laura Meyer 07:14

the the relationships I love and nurturing are a natural win win. And that’s the name of my book. So that’s kind of funny to even just say that I was like, Can I say it any other way. I was like, actually, I can’t, I just have to say the name. But when I I’m gonna give you a couple examples. I’m having lunch with somebody on Friday, who sent me a client that was one of the top business authors probably in the last decade. And I worked with him on like a five month project this year. And I’m taking her to lunch. This is somebody who I was her client, back when I had my retail chain. Then when she got started off on her own and broke off from the agency she was with I was her first in line, her first testimonial. Like this is somebody that I have had a loving, caring connection with for years. This is not somebody that I was like, I went to a, you know, networking organization was like, Hey, do you have any leads for me? That was, that was not how that happened. Another relationship that I that is the source of probably about a half million dollars business in the next 12 months, as somebody who is my client and private equity, and I just over delivered, because I’m like, this is somebody that I really want to think highly of me. Like it wasn’t about over delivering because of boundaries, or it wasn’t about over delivering because I was trying to keep him from letting me go when he eventually you know outgrew me and needed somebody in house to be as chief marketing officer who I helped him onboard and hire and everything. But it was somebody that I was like, this is someone I want to learn from and I want to keep in my world now we partner together on the nonprofit work that I do. So ultimately, I think the relationships that ended up being the most beneficial, mutually beneficial are the ones that they went into, with an intention just to be of service and just to be to do really good quality work because of the person that was in front of me and and who they are motive motivated that within me. And I think for many people who are listening. Again, they have those relationships, but they underestimate them. That’s what I have found.

Catherine A. Wood  09:36

I started out my business in in BNI. That was those were the first relationships I formed. And I just got married earlier this year and we invited four of my former BNI members because those relationships at the beginning of business, you know, they just stay with you. But I appreciate both in what you said and the motto from BNI which is all about givers gain You, right, like the idea that give give first and we can expect to receive it, you know, at some point whether if it’s not for the same person, it could be from someone else. But I think what I hear and what you’re saying is the idea that you truly had an intention to be of service to contribute, and you weren’t expecting or waiting on a quick, reciprocal response.

Laura Meyer 10:26

Right. And I think that’s the, it’s the interesting paradox of relationships in relationship marketing. Funny enough. So BNI was a corporate client of mine. I love that. When I was in my brick and mortar, and I franchise, my company, I met the CEO, who is one of the most inspirational and kindness leaders on the planet. He’s a wonderful man, his name is Graham. And he remembered me and remembered my marketing. And then when the pandemic hit, and they were looking for an online solution, I was the one that helped them bring their offline programs online during that time. So I’m such a believer in in their philosophy, and they truly live their philosophy at corporate. And and that was, that was an incredible experience. But I think, when we’re, when we’re looking at, again, what are those dynamics look like, in a lot of ways we are, we are getting back what we’re putting out. And that’s what I find more than anything energetically. And it’s not that every relationship is going to yield an ROI, you know, and when we walk around with kind of dollar signs in our eyes, it’s actually less likely for you to see that return. But I find that when you are generous for the sake of establishing credibility, for the sake of helping because you love your work, you love your craft, you love talking about it, and you love seeing if you can help. That’s when you really ignite that reciprocity, that you learn to trust. I think over the course of your career as an entrepreneur and the beginning, it’s hard to trust it, you’re like, Well, you know, you see it go out and you’re like, alright, when’s it you know, when’s it coming back in? But has you mature and grow? I think you get very used to the idea like it will come back. Like it’s just well, it’s just, it’s just the law of nature. And as a result, that’s when your business grows.

Catherine A. Wood  12:33

I really hear like, just that reminder to hold the faith of being generous and holding the faith that you will create Win Win partnerships. Are there? Yeah, how did you learn that lesson? I think that that can be a hard lesson to really learn and embrace over time, as businesses ebb and flow and partnerships grow and flounder, you know, like, there’s some battle wounds in that lesson.

Laura Meyer 13:01

Oh, for sure. I talk about don’t fear, the win lose, which is the last chapter of my book, and I have had some battle scars that in business that you would think like, oh, my gosh, first of all, you could make a movie from that. And second of all, I can’t believe you’re still standing. But but that’s not the majority, when you really look at it holistically over the life of my career. And I think about the celebrities that I you know, I was able to do business with when I had my traditional business, when I look at the opportunities that I have today. It’s not because I ran some kind of magical Facebook ad or because I posted viral content and social media, I can always track the best opportunities, a to the relationships to the connections to somebody who really thought to themselves, you know, who would be the perfect person for this as Laura and trusted me enough to make that recommendation and put their own reputation on the line, which is what happens when people recommend you, which is why it’s so coveted. And it’s so important to honor that. So I think over again, over time, I recognize the patterns. And I started to understand that that was something that was consistent throughout my career, irregardless of the business that I was running at the time. And for somebody newer to business, you don’t have that pattern recognition. Yeah, you don’t have those experiences yet. Maybe you have one bad experience one good one. And it’s hard to see the big picture of how it can all come together. But experience creates that wisdom, I think.

Catherine A. Wood  14:46

I mean, I totally hear that experience. Patients face faith, which I think faith is another thing I’d love to speak about with you because I know that your faith driven I’ve seen it in some of your posts and I’m one During I, you know, I was raised Catholic, I believe in God, I don’t identify as Catholic anymore. But I have consistently realized over the years that some of my favorite long term back end partnerships are with people of strong faith. And this was something that I came to completely indirectly unbeknownst to me, but it’s certainly have a very core and clear pattern. So I’m wondering, how does your faith play out in your partnerships and the ways in which you do business? And? And how you? Yeah, how you move as a business owner?

Laura Meyer 15:40

Yeah, you know, it’s interesting that has evolved for me over time. So interesting that you ask that. And when I look back, at times, where things went really sideways with partners and with different people was doing business, but it was usually the people with a faith background, that ended up being the safest relationships ended up being being able to just be above whatever was happening. And I think for people of faith, and it’s, it’s interesting, my husband would identify more as a Jesuit. I am half Jewish and half Italian. So I grew up Catholic, but now we go to an Episcopal Church, which I find to be a really nice balance. And I spend a lot of time with Evangelicals, I like hanging out with them, I really liked them. So it’s so it’s interesting to kind of see, you know, where people end up. And I think this is true of people with Jewish backgrounds as well. I’ve had some awesome partners in a variety of different faith backgrounds. But for me, ultimately, what that comes down to is purpose, right, is when you have a faith, we have a really strong faith background. And I think that you can find people that are, you know, playing the role. We’re really walking with God in any faith. And I And and, and it’s hard to identify, but when you when you really connect with somebody who has that sense of purpose that’s driven by their faith, what happens is, it transcends economics, it trapped transcends prosperity, right, we, I’m very fortunate to have a very prosperous business. And I know that’s what you’re talking about here in the podcast, which I think is amazing. And in the work is irregardless, the work is important that we do your regardless of the outcome, because we know as people of faith, that ultimately, it comes down to what we represent, and as much as we to and what we produce. And how we get there is as important as getting there. And when you have that faith background, I think that drives so much of it. Because it’s not always about that end destination. Right. And that’s been my experience as a person of faith. That drives me very strongly. I really do think of myself as somebody who does the harder right when nobody’s looking. And I think when you can walk in that sense of right and wrong and purpose, it does come out, it does come out.

Catherine A. Wood  18:18

Well, it certainly does come out. I mean, I feel like I I feel it in your posts. Thank you. Yeah, totally. I I really just appreciate, you know, so my audience are oftentimes people who are wanting to get to a place of thriving financially and learning how to be generous, but boundaried in business, and I think trust is a huge part of it. And the faith being a faith, I think provides a dimension of safety and trusting other people. Because there’s a shared integrity, there’s a higher a higher sense of purpose to use your words that I think provides kind of a baseline for reciprocity. It does

Laura Meyer 19:07

just changes everything. I know that sounds so cliche, but I’m in a mastermind of faith based business owners and one of my best friends who’s runs the mastermind, is seriously talking about how she can live a a life of reverse tithing. So give 90% live on 10 your drive for financial success is it looks so different. When you view the world that way. I don’t like gosh, if she can give away 90 Could I give away more than 10? You know, like so I start thinking well, can I can I What can i What can we live without? You know, we live a super comfortable life like, do I really need everything we have and then all of a sudden it just starts looking really different. Everything starts looking really different the choices you make start looking really different how you show up in your business starts is looking really different when it stops becoming just about what can I keep. And I think that’s a big part of it.

Catherine A. Wood  20:07

100% I run a mastermind also, and we’re reading right now the soul of money by Lynn twist. And she talks about the idea of valuing sufficiency over scarcity. And she talks about this, she says money is like water, it can be a conduit for commitment, a currency of love. And I really appreciate that reminder that when we can allow money to speak through our commitments to speak through our values, that there is just a flow of reciprocity, an energy that that extends financial gain.

Laura Meyer 20:49

I think that’s so true, I run a mastermind called the abundant consultant. So, you know, it’s, it is about abundance, but it’s about abundance, with it with everything with with financial, the financial abundance, freedom, abundance, the abundance to the ability to write a check, you know, if you really believe in something, I think that’s ultimately why we’re entrepreneurs. And sometimes in the busyness of being an entrepreneur, we can kind of lose sight of that. And it this all comes back to relationships for me. So if your goal in your business is, you know, I’m not saying don’t have financial stability, because financial stability, gives you freedom, it gives you flexibility, it affords you so much. And it allows you to bless your family and bless others. So, you know, I’m certainly for all of that. But when you are approaching relationships, out of curiosity, out of interest out of seeking out shared values, out of having really cool conversations like these, around making a difference, and you’re pursuing relationships with that sense of purpose, it’s very different than pursuing relationships with you know, okay, I’m gonna get on the Zoom call, see who I can meet, try to get on as many zooms as I can get on a bunch of coffee chat, see, who could end up being my client, try to pitch a bunch of people. So who says yes, like, energetically? Those are two totally different worlds. And they could both put them under the umbrella of relationship marketing, that the latter I’ve never done. I’ve just never done it’s never felt intuitive for me. I’ve never taught that. And I think it’s something that we could challenge within the coaching consulting space.

Catherine A. Wood  22:25

Absolutely. I mean, I just hear transactional relationships. Yeah, it’s I think one of the biggest tenants in the relationship coaching, I do the reminder that each partner has to give 110%, not 5050, not 6040 110 110. Yes,

Laura Meyer 22:43

totally agree.

Catherine A. Wood  22:46

Well, I, we’re wrapping up here, but I think there is one more thing I want to ask you about. And it’s the idea of exiting relationships, because I think that, you know, we both are highly sensitive, we both identify as empaths. And there’s some very common traits about being that way in business, which is just we’re givers, or generous, we contribute to others. And sometimes that can be at at our expense, sometimes we don’t create win wins. So how do you gracefully exit from those win lose dynamics?

Laura Meyer 23:27

So I love that you asked this. And I think this could be a podcast episode in itself. So I’m gonna try to keep it short. Because this is probably everybody’s question when it comes to relationships versus like, where do I go? What do I say? How do I conduct myself? I answer a lot of that in the book, the tactics, right? But how do I is a highly sensitive, empathic person who cares about other people and relationships is probably my strength, right? Like, if you identify with that description, that means that you probably have the potential to make relationships really work for you and your business and your life. And at the same time, that has been one of the hardest things I’ve navigated. So I’m gonna give a resource to anybody who’s listening, I really love to boundaries for leaders. And that is Dr. Henry Cloud, who is a faith based author. And his work is awesome. And I’ve done I’ve read all the boundary books, and like that one was the best one for me. And so that’s a recommendation in case you want to dive into this deeper than what I have time for today. And then the second thing I’m going to share is just don’t be afraid to bless and release. What my mistake I think, in the past, not recent past, but way back past is that I just hung on too long. I thought that if I showed up differently, or if I was maybe it was my fault. Maybe I didn’t do something well enough or I wasn’t I didn’t apologize enough or whatever, right? That if I changed myself, the relationship would change. And I think People like us tend to get caught up in that false thinking. But what I find now if there’s just some non negotiables, and you just have to know what they are for you, for me, it’s honesty, it’s transparency, it’s not hiding, it’s, it’s being really, really genuine, about if something bothers the other person, and they come to you, it’s like, I get excited, I’m like, Thank you, I really want to know, I’m being honest with yourself as to how open you are to those types of conversations and getting yourself to a place that you have trusted relationships, that people can come to you and be honest with you. And you are responsibilities creating that space, but it’s the other person’s responsibility to be to show up authentically. And there are some situations where I just say, I care for this person, but this is this is way outside of what I can have in my life, right. And then there’s other situations where maybe you let them know, hey, if this happens, again, I can’t work with you anymore. Or, or if this happens again, you know, we we won’t be friends anymore, and letting them know that that’s your boundary. And finally, putting it in context, you know, sometimes somebody might do something that was totally accidental. And they didn’t mean it at all. And it was, they were thinking about it from a totally different perspective that happened recently with one of my really close friend. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I could totally see how you would see it that way. I’m, totally get it. Thank you for letting me process with you. Right. And it’s like, Those situations are all very nuanced, but it’s important to be able to navigate them, because they are going to have different outcomes based on how that relationship is how healthy that relationship is, right. And so what I find is that, if it’s something that I just know, it’s just not, this is not going to get better, I will gracefully exit. And I will also say, Don’t be afraid of this is probably the most important piece of it is is don’t be afraid of sunk costs, like don’t make a decision based on the future of something that you’ve invested in the past, whether it’s your time or your money or your effort, because the longer you hang on to it because of sunk costs, the more you’re keeping yourself from something new. And that has been another big lesson learned. So I just think their thing, you know, you start to kind of see it coming sooner, you get better at understanding the differences from those different circumstances that I just described. And you also learn that not everybody gets access to you, that everybody gets access, like, back in the day of the Jewish times when there was a temple, like different types of people had access to different areas of the temple. And that’s because God sanction certain people to have, you know, early access or advanced access, and that was for a reason, right. And you’ll just get better at sort of figuring out this is somebody who can be an acquaintance, this is somebody that, you know, I can I can show up totally openly with. And that happens over time.

Catherine A. Wood  28:14

I share all of those sentiments of a piece about sunk cost really sticks with me, because sometimes, you know, the idea of when we avoid making decisions for fear of sunk costs, like it often creates a self fulfilling prophecy, that fear often becomes expressed. So it’s really just, you know, you’re just predicting your future.

Laura Meyer 28:37

And I think every entrepreneur does that, like every entrepreneur has a graveyard of ideas and concepts, and hard work. And, you know, and, and probably keynote presentations, and Google Drive folders and things that just didn’t work out. And if you think that, oh my gosh, you know, the people that I really look up to don’t have that they do. And learning to cut your losses and bless and release is, is something that I think some people are really good at it. Some people probably do it a little early, somebody like me, does that a little late, and I’m gonna do that earlier.

Catherine A. Wood  29:15

Well, I love that this podcast is going to air next month at the top of the Year at the top of that strategic decision making for 2023. And I have no doubt people will take this advice and wisdom in mind as they think about the winwin partnerships that they want to create next year. We will link to your website and of course to your book in the show notes. And I’d love to close the way I close with every guest which is to ask what has supported you in becoming a prosperous empath.

Laura Meyer 29:47

Resilience, resilience has supported me in becoming a prosperous Empath, I think learning to dust yourself off and get back up again As an empath, when you see that there’s so many people around you that we tend to make up stories about what other people are experiencing because we’re so empathic to their experience, but learning to just block that out and create your own path forward has has served me really well.

Laura Meyer 30:21

Love it stay in your own lane.

Laura Meyer 30:24

And that’s right. Laura, thank

Catherine A. Wood  30:26

you so much. I wish you all the best with your holiday with celebrating the holidays with your family and all the success with the book