Dec 27, 2022 | Podcast, Your Business

Managing Your Intentions and Energy as an Introvert with Emma-Louise Parkes

About the episode:

I’m so honored to have today’s guest on the podcast, Emma-Louise Parkes, because she is the biggest inspiration behind this podcast. Emma-Louise is an Online Business Coach and Strategist for introvert owned businesses. Some see personality labels as a set back, but to Emma-Louise, they are one of her greatest assets. She’s sharing more about this, plus how she’s setting herself up for success in the new year. This episode is for any empath who’s ready to start feeling confident in who they are and all that they can accomplish!

 

Topics discussed:

  • How Emma-Louise feels supported by the labels of introvert, empath, and highly sensitive, but also some of the pitfalls she sees too
  • Emma-Louise’s success habits that help her remain intentional in her business and the way she serves her clients 
  • The importance of consistency and how Emma-Louise cultivated this habit bit by bit along with learning how to manage her energy
  • A day in the life of Emma-Louise and how she manages her nervous system and energy throughout 
  • How Emma-Louise is setting herself up for success in the New Year and why it’s important to know the ROI of your business practices and investments 
  • Why it’s important to celebrate our wins and really embody them – no matter how big or how small

 

About Emma-Louise:

Emma-Louise Parkes is an Online Business Coach and Strategist for introvert owned businesses. Before entering the online business space, she spent 17 years in one of the world’s most stressful, male-focused, and extroverted fields: air traffic control. Alongside her time behind the radar keeping the busy skies above London safe, she also became an instructor for new recruits – fueling her love of coaching. 

Today, Emma-Louise is an internationally recognised certified online business consultant and NLP master practitioner with accreditations in EFT/TFT. She’s also the host of the award winning podcast, Introvert Empires. Having built her six-figure brand in under three years without previous business experience, Emma-Louise is proof that when you take aligned action, you can scale your business with ease and speed. 

Emma-Louise’s mission is to help her clients embrace their introvert nature, stay in their zone of genius, and impact more people with their profitable, sustainable businesses. You can find her at www.emmalouiseparkes.com or inside her free Facebook group, The Ambitious Introvert® Network, where she empowers her community of smart, sensitive entrepreneurs.

 

Resources:

 

Connect with Emma-Louise:

 

Listen Now:

 

 

Click here for a raw, unedited transcript of this episode

Catherine A. Wood  00:02

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the prosperous Empath podcast. I am so thrilled to welcome our guest today, Emma Louise parks. I will let her introduce herself in a moment. But I want to express some gratitude to kick us off because listening to Emma Louise’s podcast a couple years ago was the inspiration for me, in launching my podcast, she has just a lovely energy in the way that she communicates, and shares and shares about her journey that just felt so human and accessible for me. And so it just feels like a complete honor to have you here today. I’m always, oh,

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  00:44

I could not love that more. I think that when I started my business, I really felt the impact would be limited to just the clients that I worked with on a one on one basis. And actually, over the last four years, I’ve seen that so much more, you know, things like this happen, like we do something, and we have no idea how it’s affecting someone else. And then someone reaches out like this. And you’re like, hey, you know, you really inspired me. And now I’m doing this thing. And you’ve created this amazing podcast and brought it into the world. So I’m very honored that I was a part of that journey.

 

Catherine A. Wood  01:17

I think it’s the multiplier effect of authenticity that when we truly are authentic, we inspire others to be authentic and share their own authentic truth. And I really get that from you. Totally,

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  01:30

I could never have gone I’m going to launch podcasts so that everyone else wants to launch the podcast, but because they just did it. And I love my podcast, it’s one of my favorite things. I do my business, I always say this. So and you have been a guest on my podcast, which was amazing. So we’ve literally come full circle,

 

Catherine A. Wood  01:47

totally. And we’re jumping ahead, but I would love that give you a moment to introduce yourself who you are, and and a little bit about your business.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  01:54

And thank you. Well, I’m Emma Louise parks. I’m a mindset coach and business consultant. And I work with ambitious introverts, empaths, and highly sensitive entrepreneurs. And I help them to grow and scale their businesses in a way that gives them more of what they want. So that could be more money, it could be more clients, it could be more time, more freedom, more impact, it could be a combination of those. But the really important thing is that it is bespoke to the person and that it serves their needs and helps them to create the life that they want.

 

Catherine A. Wood  02:27

Well, before we started recording, we were sharing a little bit about labels and the labels that we share in common because we share several uncommon and Beth introvert highly sensitive. And I was just sharing with you how I have a love hate relationship with some of the labels and assessments. And I’d love for you to share a little bit about how you how are you are supported by some of the labels that that you identify with? And what you see some of the pitfalls as

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  02:56

totally, and I think so much of it is around curiosity. I think when we take a label and assign it a meaning, and we’re not flexible with that, that’s where it can be, as we said, really damaging. So someone could go, I’m an introvert, so I can’t do Facebook Lives. Maybe you know, that’s that’s the thing that I’ve heard a lot. That’s something that I felt. But is that actually the fact? Is it the fact that introverts can’t do them? Is it just that we maybe don’t want to do them? Which you know, is a completely different nuance? Is it that we can do them, but they drain our energy? Is there a way to do them? So the way I approach everything with my business, with being an introvert, empathic, highly sensitive, and with my clients is, is there a way? And if so, what is that way? What is the way that? Is it doing something every two weeks instead of every week? Does that make it manageable and fun, rather than feeling like an exhausting chore. And having those labels, I think having the self awareness and having an understanding of ourselves is huge, because I can use those labels, let’s say introvert Empath, highly sensitive as a filter, when I’m making decisions about opportunities that might come through the business when I’m planning out my quarter when I’m, you know, deciding how many clients I’ve got capacity for, I can use those very neutral labels to filter like, what does serve me and is this a good decision? But yeah, they can definitely be used in a negative way or as a bit of a Oh, but I can’t do this because and I think for me, like I say it’s just getting curious with how could I do this? Because

 

Catherine A. Wood  04:33

one of the things I hear a little bit under the surface of everything you’re sharing is how intentionally it’s all done in your business. And it’s why I’m excited to talk about this topic today with you because I have it that success looks very different for empaths and highly sensitive and introverts that we are very intentional in how we design our businesses and how we show up and I’d love to hear more Really what has supported you in in success and what your success habits are.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  05:06

And I love the word intentional, I think it’s one of those things that’s become a bit of a buzzword, unfortunately, in the online space. But at its core, it’s a wonderful word. And we should be intentional, we absolutely should. Because if we’re just saying yes to everything, or not really managing our energy or not giving, like too much consideration to like, how we’re loading ourselves up and what we’re taking on, then that is going to have a massive, massive effect on us. So yet being intentional, like it’s a bit of a buzzword, but super important. And the biggest thing for me, you know, I struggled a lot at the start of my business, I had a lot of coaching experience in the real world, but I didn’t have experience in the online space, I didn’t experience of social media at all, in any capacity, because I didn’t even have Facebook, as a personal profile, literally no clue what was going on what’s going on. And I had to, I had to get consistent. That was one of the, you know, the biggest things that set me up for success, because I used to just do things when I felt like it. And, you know, my energy maybe isn’t that consistent, I can’t rely on it. That’s where extroverts have the upper hand, right, because they’ve always got the energy to, to kind of tap into, and they can do it because they feel like it, if I’m relying on doing something because I feel like it, it’s not going to be regular. So actually, like, I think consistency can get a bad name, I think people feel quite trapped by it and be, you know, like people like, oh, I left the nine to five for freedom, like I don’t want to have to be consistent. But where it helps me is it stopped my nervous system, being all over the place, it stopped me going all out and doing too much for like two months, and then burning out and not doing anything for two months. So deciding on a cadence and a capacity of say marketing that I knew that that I could easily stick to even though maybe it was a bit lower than what I’ve seen other people doing, but deciding and then commit into that, that was one of the best habits that I made, I decided to send a weekly newsletter. And from deciding to do that, I never missed one. If I’d have been like, I’m going to email everyone, like five times a week, not sustainable. But by giving myself a minimum that I knew I could do, it gave me the confidence that I could do it. And actually, instead of feeling it constraining or feeling like it was trapping me, what it did is it gave me this very much like Oh, on Tuesdays we write the newsletter as it was then, which actually felt really good.

 

Catherine A. Wood  07:46

Gosh, I love that reminder, I always say that consistency is queen. And it is right. It is like the idea that we have to be consistent to something that’s more reliable than our feelings. And many of us don’t understand that. But I think as empaths with a little inner work, we really get that, you know, our feelings are not a reliable gauge for our business. They’re not a reliable source of motivation. And I think the million dollar question that people always ask is, how, how do you gain a sense of consistency. And I know what worked for me, but I’m curious what worked for you.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  08:27

So at that time, in my business, I had just started working with a coach one on one. And so that was a big focus that we that we brought to the table. And I knew that’s where I needed the support. So I had the accountability there. But it was done in a way not of shame and guilt. And, you know, Oh, you didn’t do what you said, or, you know, check in every day and prove to me that you’ve done it, it was done in a way of you know, I have a fantastic coach. And it was done in a way of supporting me to create it as a habit. So that it was becoming my new normal. And like I say, We started small, we started with things that it was almost laughable amount, but it had to be because I knew that I could do it. I didn’t want any kind of fear of like oh, but if, you know if I miss this, I failed or, or whatever. So we started really small. And the really great thing was the coach herself is also very consistent. So that was modeled to me and I really liked her business you know really obviously liked her but respected a business which is why I invested with her. So having that model to me as well and just being surrounded by that, you know, this whole thing about the five people that you surround yourself with you are the average of I think in habits it’s really true because it was it just became so normal for me because I was seeing that model to me every day.

 

Catherine A. Wood  09:57

I love that reminder like the reminder that we are So much more accountable to sources outside of ourselves than we are to ourselves at least as a place to start. And building that muscle around consistency. The idea that having ways of being that we are committed to nurturing for ourselves modeled for us, is an access point. I know you and I both share a love of books, and I love what, oh, his name is evading me. But in atomic habits by James clear, James clear. And he talks about the idea of when we’re trying to develop habits, we have to relate to them as intrinsic based habits inherit based habits versus outcome driven ones, the idea that I want to be a an entrepreneur who is consistent, who models reliability, who builds trust with our audit audience, rather than I want to be an entrepreneur who, you know, you know, is all these kind of masculine driven goals and outcome driven assessments of who we are, that I, that’s what made the difference for me, it was just really identifying with the qualities of these habits that I wanted to nurture and cultivate.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  11:21

That is so true, I understood on a, I’m gonna say a deeper level, that by being consistent, that would grow trust in my audience. And I was also, as I say, very drawn to people that were consistent. So then there was a congruence piece, if I wasn’t going to be consistent, and that will, I’m not going to attract the type of person that I want to support, because they’re not going to have the respect or the trust that I’m going to show up every day. My coach even said that, to me, she’s like, if you do a weekly podcast, or a weekly live stream, and people see you showing up at that, that time, and that day, every week, on and on and on, it builds an you know, an implicit trust in them, they just then it’s probably subconscious, but they trust that person because they see them. And more important than that, I then trusted myself, because I could see, oh, I can do this, I can show up and write a newsletter, every week, I can release a podcast episode every week. And that enabled me to start. So that’s how, you know with anything the same with clients, I started at a lower capacity number of clients, because I didn’t really know how my energy was going to be. And when I realized I can support this many clients and I still feel good, then I can maybe take another one or two. And everything in my business I think has been built from from that about laying that foundation and creating those small steps and then feeling good and trust in myself that that’s in place now. And then can I layer something else on top?

 

Catherine A. Wood  13:01

Is the idea of like habit stacking that as we develop one habit, and then we stack a new habit, either before it or directly after to it, we kind of build that strength around consistency.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  13:13

Okay, so true. So true.

 

Catherine A. Wood  13:15

So what’s next? So so far, we’ve talked about consistency, what else?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  13:20

What else? I, I would say that managing my energy has been huge. That is definitely something that I didn’t appreciate, was going to have such a massive impact on my business. And it’s something I had never really had the opportunity to do. I when I was in my job, I worked shifts, my roster was kind of prepared for me and I turned up at the time that was allocated. And if I was tired, I was tired, and it didn’t have that control. But the habit of actually intentionally managing my energy seemed so strange at first. But I just can’t imagine now not putting my energy as a priority. Does that make sense?

 

Catherine A. Wood  14:11

Feel like you’re preaching to the choir here. I could not agree more. I think for for someone who’s new to this conversation, they may think that that sounds like a lovely idea. And they may not have any idea of what that looks like in practice. Will you walk us through a day like a day in the life of Emma Louise? What it looks like to manage your energy?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  14:35

Absolutely. Well, I’ll walk you through today. How about that because this is last Monday. It’s you know, a workday for me it’s not a client call day. Only do client calls on on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but what today look like for me, I was waking up. I woke up quite early today. And my impulse is to grab my phone but I don’t do it. You And I’m saying that because I want people to know that even after all of this time, I still want to grab my phone, mainly because I have a sleep monitor ring. And I want to see what what my score is because you know, we’ve gamified health and it’s fun. So I want to see what my score is. But of course, I know as soon as I pick up the phone, what, then I’m on the phone. And I’m very intentional about that’s not where I want my energy to be at the first part of the morning. So we don’t check the phone, we do drink coffee, because coffee in the morning is good for me. And then I have to get outside, I have to get some fresh air, and I have to move. So that’s usually walking the dog, I very lucky that I live near the beach, so get into get into the sea. And just having that movement, which I will tell you this morning, I did not feel like it. It’s like freezing here literally in the middle of winter. But I know if I don’t do it later on in the day, it’s going to affect me. So I think it’s that I’ve seen the evidence enough times now there’s enough times I’ve skipped it and gone. Ooh, that was a bad idea. So for anyone like you said, it’s new to me thinking, Well, it sounds great. But it know that a while things like this get easier and bringing in habits and practices that support us does get easier, we’re still human. And I still have days that I am cold and want to go outside, but but I did. So then I am of course this won’t surprise you very intentional about making sure that I am supported for the day. So do I have the food in that I need to have I you know, making sure that the house is warm all of those things, because I know that I’m going to be putting myself in a situation where I’m going to be sitting in work and I’m gonna be in the office for maybe five or six hours. So making sure that my needs are met have I got something to have for lunch to grab so that I’m not either not going to eat or you know, order takeout, which is going to wreck my energy there. So it’s, I guess it’s always this foresight of thinking ahead. Like, I know that what I’m doing at that time, even if it doesn’t feel the most comfortable or exciting thing there and then there’s going to be a payoff for it later on. So managing my mornings really to make sure that I’m set up for the day, then once I get into the office, then checking in with clients then doing all the good stuff like recording this lovely podcast with you. When we finish, it’s going to be about 530 Here, it’s because it’s winter, it’s already dark, I am going to close down, I am going to do some deep breaths and some cord cutting and some clear my energy in the office. And then I’m going to leave the office, I’m gonna watch Jeopardy, because that’s my guilty pleasure. So I should be watching Jeopardy after dinner. And I love winter because I love the introspection of it. So on a winter’s evening, managing my energy looks like not having screens too late because it really does affect my sleep, I probably going to take a bath, it’s just going to be a leisurely relaxing evening. And that is that will pretty much be my week other than the work, you know, in that five or six hour window changes.

 

Catherine A. Wood  18:16

I really appreciate how frequently you share about your Jeopardy practice. I don’t think I’ve ever shared mine. And mine is that I play Settlers of Catan on my phone every day.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  18:31

Is that your wind down? That’s it down. I love it.

 

Catherine A. Wood  18:35

I always win. And I like ending my day with playing a game of winning. So it’s so simple and cheesy but it um it’s kind of my my practice and I’m not on social media. I’m not on the internet, like it’s just me and me. Had It’s very calming on my nervous system.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  18:58

Oh, I love it. I and you know, a thing having these things. And for some people maybe it’s like reality TV or, or whatever. But for me, there’s just something like we first got cable when I was about 11 and it was really rare. And Jeopardy was on cable here in the UK. So I watched it since I don’t know 1990 Or something on cable. And then during lockdown, there was series and series of it on Netflix so I was able to binge Jeopardy. I hadn’t seen it for years. And it just became I think there’s a comfort in part because it reminds me of childhood. And then also it was something that I could do when we’re in you know the horrible situation of being I’ve been locked down and now it’s just part of my day. I don’t watch anything else on TV. I literally I don’t watch anything but I’m like Jeopardy and it’s just yeah, it just makes me happy like your game makes you happy.

 

Catherine A. Wood  19:53

Totally. Yeah. And you know, I appreciate what you said about the word intentional and being over used, and I feel a little protective for the word. Because truly, I think being intentional is one of my own success habits. And the way I like to define it is the idea of being on purpose versus being off purpose. And when I hear what you share, like, everything just occurs, like it is done with so much purpose, like truly in service of you and service of setting yourself up for success and service of taking care of yourself in anticipation of what’s to come. And I’d just hear how, how much of how much of a, of a recipe for success that is, in the long term. So I, I love that you love the word and I intend to continue using it loudly and proudly. And I also think please do coaches, which the coaches who talk about intentional and then walk the walk of intentional and how they show up online, and how they run their businesses. It just it hits different, you know?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  21:10

Yeah, it just comes down to, you know, I love to question everything. I’m one of life’s great questioners, which is a gift and also can be challenged, because everything’s but why why or, you know, someone gives me some information. And I’m like, but one thing like, Can’t you just accept? I’m like, No, I like to question. But it puts me in a good stead because that that’s what it is to be intentional. And to be mindful and creating what we what we want it just we have to think like, does this serve me? Or do I really want to do this? Or how am I going to feel later if I skip my walk or those things? And that might sound like a lot to some people. But I think this is where the consistency comes in the consistency of reframing our thoughts and creating the thought patterns and habits that really serve us. It becomes normal. And then the question is answered so quickly, that it’s not even a question. It’s just what we do.

 

Catherine A. Wood  22:26

I got married a couple months ago, and I wrote a blog after the wedding called intentional. I think it was called intentional planning. And I was sharing about my experience of the wedding. And my intention for the wedding was to be president. And the most president I felt was during our ceremony. It’s where I enjoyed myself the most, I fully trusted the experience of the day, I fully realized and was committed and just in love with our wedding plan or not a wedding planner or officiant. And during the reception, I, it was so much more unintentional, it was so much more off purpose, and I didn’t enjoy myself as much. And for me, it was after my wedding that I realized, the like, the significant impact, that me being intentional, and thinking ahead about how I wanted to feel how I wanted to experience how much it could impact my mood, how much it could impact how I feel.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  23:33

We are so powerful, we have so much, you know, small decisions and small actions have so much of an impact, and it’s easy for us to be reactive, I spent most of my life being reactive to these things and then being unhappy with the consequences or how things were working out. So, you know, for anyone listening that’s like, Oh, I’m not that intentional, like it is like anything that’s a practice like you said about consistency. It’s a muscle like all of these things, but it actually the payoff is so much greater than the effort that we put in I just find that I don’t like to say like having control but that purpose that you talk about of I want to feel this way or I want this situation to be inspiring or I want to feel present and even just taking that time to reflect beforehand on what you want. We’re so much more likely to actually experience it in that way when we’ve we’ve given it the space that it deserves

 

Catherine A. Wood  24:41

Yeah, I really one segment I love all of that. And there’s I feel like I could chat with you all day. But I really want to shift gears because, you know, at the time of at the time that this episode will launch will be either ending the year or and it’ll be the beginning of the new year. And I have it that success habits probably look a bit different for you near a year. And and you’re beginning. So how do you? How do you set yourself up for success of the year? And what does that look like for you?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  25:32

So I, I’m a huge minimalist, because first of all, I’ve always been attracted to very minimal aesthetic. And secondly, I get very overwhelmed and overstimulated. So it makes a lot of sense for me to keep things simple and clear and clean. So my end of year habits, and actually just recorded a podcast episode about this. It’s a lot of clearing up tidying up and closing energy leaks. And it’s not just physical. So within my business, it’s looking at boundaries, have I let boundaries slip? Has there been scope creep? What do I need to tidy up there? It can be things like with tech, you know, have everything gotten a bit too complicated? Do I need all of these systems, clearing up my inbox unsubscribing from people’s emails, like, it sounds like pretty boring stuff. But for me, if I know that I’m starting the year fresh, and I have that clean slate, and I know that, again, everything’s intentional. Everything’s there that needs to be there. And that I’ve given it the time and attention and given it I guess a bit of an energetic audit, and look to you know, what’s important to stay what what’s what’s bolstering me what’s helping me what what are supported me this year, if I look at, you know, investments I’ve made, or if I look at strategies that I’ve employed in the business, and they’ve had an ROI, and I like them, and they feel good, then that is setting me up for success. And they will continue. But the things that maybe haven’t worked out so well or I haven’t loved or things that have just carried over maybe from a few years ago, and I haven’t questioned them, having that space to really, it just feels like a spring clean, that’s the best way that I can say it. And having that habit of whether you do it once a year, or whether you do it at you know, quarters end or on the full moon or seasons or whatever suits people. But I think creating that space is one of the most powerful things and yeah, intentionality to the nth degree.

 

Catherine A. Wood  27:39

What a brilliant term and energetic audit. Love that I love the idea of really examining the ROI, the ROI on our business decisions on where we place our energy on the investments that we make. Because you know, sometimes the ROI is very direct. But sometimes it’s more indirect and deeply impactful. So connecting those dots and service of making more intentional decisions for the next year. I mean, I really hear how empowering that is.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  28:12

It’s so, you know, I think it’s so easy, like you say some ROI is immediate and obvious and very tangible. And some is not. And, you know, the biggest investments that I make in my business is my assistants. And that is an amazing investment. Like, does it bring a direct financial ROI? No, but does it mean that everything is running correctly? Does it mean that I’m not spending my time in tears trying to do tech things that, you know, are not my zone of genius? Oh, yes, therefore, it’s a phenomenal investment. But that could be things that are maybe I know $20 A month that I’m spending that I go well, I’m not actually using it. So you could argue it’s only $20 a month but that’s not intentional use of my energy. If we look at money as energy, I’d much rather be like No, I’m choosing to invest my time energy everything in the things that are actually give me more of what I want.

 

Catherine A. Wood  29:10

One of my I’d say most important practices I do at year end is around I call it completion and it’s really kind of like a like getting complete on everything that there is to let go to bless and release to forgive to allow to surrender from this past year. Any thing that I might be holding on myself or other people you called you said earlier cutting the cords cutting those energetic cords and that’s kind of what I relate to it as Do you Do you do anything like that is do you have any any energetic cord cutting practice?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  29:47

I don’t I actually think with with energy and that way I’m probably better at doing that as I go along. Now and again. That is an intentional decision because there have been periods where I haven’t heard sized it. And then I really feel it. And I’ve noticed I’m like, oh, it’s because I can carry in that or, yeah, forgiveness has been a big, big thing. For me, that’s been a big lesson in, in my adult life, I found very, very, very difficult. And you know, it’s still a work in progress. But it’s something that I need to do very regularly or it gets me it gets me very heavy. So I think in that one, like I say that now is more of a, oh, I do this regularly. Because I know what happens if I don’t like I can see what’s coming in a few weeks. But I love when you said completion because it felt really cyclical. And I love that idea of like closing off the year, you know, we’ve talked with my practice about opening it in a fresh kind of way. And then you’re talking about bringing it back, and, and you’re tidying up all the loose ends as such, which feels really good.

 

Catherine A. Wood  30:55

I also think a big part of Completion is acknowledging it celebrating wins and acknowledging successes. I imagine that’s something you do at year end or year beginning, what’s what is your practice around that?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  31:09

Yes. So I, I keep lists of all of the wins, like small wins, that people may think are insignificant, but you know, the small things build up. And so I keep a list throughout the year of small wins. And I also keep a list of what I’ve achieved. And what I’ve done, because I think it’s so easy for us to not really appreciate that. And then I look back over them, I sometimes do this at the end of quarter as well. But I look back because I could go, oh, this year I you know, I didn’t do much or whatever. But then when I go like, Oh, I’ve coached X number of clients, and I’ve appeared on this many podcasts, and I’ve launched this program, and I’ve done all of that. And when you look at actually what you’ve achieved, I think seeing it as actual evidence, you know, in black and white in front of you. That to me is really powerful. I think that we can easily discount things on a day to day basis. So again, this was a habit, it’s very uncomfortable for me at the start. It’s not something that came naturally to go like, Hey, get me. But yet looking back at the end of the year over everything that you’ve achieved all in one go that that is mind blowing.

 

Catherine A. Wood  32:26

I, we had a call with a client recently, we spent literally about the almost the duration of the call, sharing all of her wins from the past year because it had been such an epic year. And it was a very uncomfortable practice for her. And even her willingness to celebrate herself in that way was a win in and of itself, that she allowed herself to focus more on what was working than what wasn’t. Yeah, totally.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  32:52

And there are things that I would not have celebrated in the past, or I would have seen them as a fail, that I would now see as a win. So let’s say someone reached out about working with me, that’s a win. If they decided it wasn’t a good fit, and they didn’t go ahead, fine. But someone still reached out. And you know, previously, I definitely would have gone. Oh, but that doesn’t count because they didn’t sign up or they didn’t become a client. And I think being able to look at that’s why I say like the small wins in everything and not be able to take it away, not be able to say, Oh, well, it was a win. But now something happened. And it’s not anymore and owning the fact that you know, the small essence of it is absolutely something to be celebrated.

 

Catherine A. Wood  33:35

Isn’t it interesting how we qualify our wins?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  33:40

Win If this goes on to happen afterwards? Yeah, totally

 

Catherine A. Wood  33:42

will acknowledge something and then the very next minute will disqualify it or take it down a notch.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  33:50

Yeah, I’ve heard this so much from clients. They’ll be like, oh, like, someone wrote this comment on my posts or whatever. And then they’re like, oh, but it doesn’t count. Because it’s someone I know. Totally counts, it’s, it still counts.

 

Catherine A. Wood  34:05

And I don’t know if you feel this way. But I know for me as an empath, when clients share their wins, if they share them flatly. And they’re not truly embodying them or owning them, or they’re not allowing themselves to feel the celebration of the when they’re just kind of doing it because that’s typically how we start client calls. I can feel it. I can feel the disconnect between you know, the words coming out of their mouth versus the embodiment of what they’re sharing. And, you know, I lovingly call them out on it. And it makes such a difference when they, you know, share it however many times they need to until they can actually allow themselves to feel a bit more of what they’re celebrating.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  34:48

And I think that’s such a good point. And something actually that I was talking about in the podcast I recorded earlier about mindset practices that people can get very, like habitual with them. And it’s almost like a task to check off. And especially with things like gratitude, and they don’t actually feel it, and they don’t give themselves the space and, and then they go, Well, I’m doing my mindset work, but it’s like a tick box exercise to, to get it done and not not actually feeling it and not actually embodying and celebrating it in the same way. So I think that plays out a lot. And you know, I’m definitely guilty of that as well. But we, yeah, just reading from a list is very different to my energies in this and yeah, we can totally feel it. Totally.

 

Catherine A. Wood  35:37

Well, I want to make sure we we leave time to talk about the new year, because, you know, as coaches, I think we all do New Year’s differently, we relate to New Year beginnings differently. And I’m wondering, What does setting yourself up for success in the new year look like in your

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  35:59

business. So I have intentionally slowed down a little bit earlier this year, because I been ill quite a lot. And I cancelled quite a few launches and stuff. So kind of in November, I don’t do Black Friday sales or any of that. So I was very much even at the beginning of November, like kind of winding down. Now, I’m not going to book anything else in, you know, other than client stuff or stuff that was already there. And taking a longer period off over Christmas, New Year. So I’ve already been thinking about q1, I’m already looking. And you know, I’m running the mastermind again next year. So I’m like, when will that start, and then when will I need to start marketing that. So I’ve already got those loose ideas in my mind. But for me where I am now, I know, January will be settling in January, I’ll have that fresh start that energetic audit, and I feel very much like that is when I’ll get that burst to start planning strategizing in a solid way for now I feel like the end of year is like the ideas are there. They’re floating, I didn’t want to tie it all down January a feel like that. I love like new school energy, you know, like with the fresh notebook and the freshly sharpened pencil. And that is what January feels like to me. So it will be sitting down and mapping out the specifics. So that, yeah, tying it all down all these ideas that are floating around, just actually getting them down and starting to execute. And love

 

Catherine A. Wood  37:31

that permission to not need to know it all before the year starts, like allowing the space and grace to let your creativity and your ideas percolate. So that you can then create from a fresh

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  37:45

slate. Yeah, I could not be the person that’s mapped out a year in advance. That’s not to say that I’m disorganized. But I just prefer to work quarter to quarter and see what and see what feels good. Even stay I had an idea. And I was like, well, maybe I could do this. And if I’d set everything out, or there wouldn’t be the opportunity for that. And I think that’s that beautiful balance in business right of, we need the strategy and the consistency and all of that good stuff that we talked about. But we still need the space to ebb and flow and be creative.

 

Catherine A. Wood  38:19

How many weeks or are you all closing your doors for this holiday?

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  38:23

So I think my first out of office days, the 22nd of December, and then I’m back on something like January the eighth. Lovely. So yeah, a nice long period. And I did it last year two and the year before, I think because it was my first full year in business, I felt a bit more like I had to be on it. But nothing happened. It was like I don’t need to be here. Everyone else has taken time off, which is great. We’re taking

 

Catherine A. Wood  38:52

three weeks off this year. And this is the first time we’ve taken that much time. And it just feels so exciting. And I’m thrilled for it. And I even last week, I already started responding to virtual coffee requests saying oh, we’re not doing any more virtual coffees until 2023. Let’s reconnect after January and got the permission to take that much space away. I’ve never felt a such a sense of excitement and alignment around it. I think in years past I’ve taken two weeks but I was you know, working right up to the last minute. And this year it feels really distinct. It’s more just like I’m I’m kind of waltzing into vacation.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  39:39

I love that. I love that image. I love this. Like even like I say Novembro St. People No, I’m not doing anything else until next year now and and it felt really good. And there are a few people that reached out about podcasts. And I was like I would love to come on your podcast, but I’m not. I literally do don’t have the capacity until next year. And I was like, Oh, I, you know, these are great people. I’d love to have conversation with them. I hope that they’re open to it. And everyone was like, Yeah, great. I’ll talk to you, then I think we can tell ourselves a story about how we have to grab every opportunity we have to rush or you know, needs to be done. And actually, the more we lean into it, and trust ourselves, the right things are always going to be there. Totally. Well, Emma Louise, this

 

Catherine A. Wood  40:25

has been such a delight. We will link to your website and to your podcast in the show notes, and where everyone can find you. And I highly encourage everyone to check out the ambitious introvert podcast. It’s delightful. It’s a here getting a overhaul of a revamp in the coming year.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  40:47

It is that is definitely on the cards for q1 of 2023. Cool.

 

Catherine A. Wood  40:52

And in closing today, I would love for you to share with us what has supported you in becoming a prosperous empath.

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  41:01

I am probably going to give an answer that you’re not expecting. But prioritizing my sleep has supported me in becoming a prosperous Empath, because I did shift work for 23 years, where I had zero control over my what time I got up in the morning, or I did night shifts and all kinds of horrendous things. And one of the big reasons that I wanted out of my job and to watch myself was to have that freedom of my schedule. And I used to dream about the days that I would not need to have an alarm clock. But that was my why everyone else was saying gee building a business because they wanted 10k months. And I was like I just want to sleep until like I want to get up. And so that might sound really strange but as a sensitive Empath, as well, my physiology affects my mood and my energy so much and having the consistent sleep and really focusing on that I am a better person for it, I am able to be consistent for it, my mood is better for it. I’m able to hold space for my clients better for I’m able to show up better for my podcast and all of those things and everyone looks for the secret and the you know, the trick or the hack and all of that and quite often it’s these things that are right in front of us like you know, eating well drink enough water getting enough sleep moving our body didn’t sound particularly exciting or sexy, but

 

Catherine A. Wood  42:38

they they work. Holy. Back to Basics. I hear how much how much those basics matter. Emily’s thank you so much. It’s been an absolute delight. Thank you. It’s

 

Emma-Louise Parkes  42:51

so lovely to see you and chat with you and congrats on the podcast. Thank you

Tags:

On our Masterminders’ Bookshelf

Get instant access to a curated list of needle-moving books that’s essential reading in the UNBOUNDED Mastermind.

Thoughtfully divided into categories - Health & Wellbeing, Love & Relationships, Money & Finances, Leadership, Spirituality, and more - so you can start creating a foundation for the life and business you’ve always wanted intentionally.

Empathy for Change with Amy J. Wilson


I am so delighted and thrilled to have my esteemed friend, Amy J. Wilson here with us today. Amy is a change leader, community builder, movement maker, and an empathy advocate. She is the author of Empathy for Change: How to Build a More Understanding World, a guide to create positive, compassionate change where we work, live, and play. All of this guides our conversation as we cover the different types of empathy and why they are important, dismantling current power structures and rebuilding them with empathy at the core, prioritizing rest, and so much more. Being empathetic does not mean you lack power, and this episode is going to tell you why – enjoy!

Visit this episode’s show notes page here.

Check out this episode!



×

Download The Book Now