How Authoritarians Win—And How An Empath Fights Back

Catherine A. Wood  00:01

Hello, hello. Welcome back to the prosperous Empath cat here. I’ve been reflecting a lot over the past week on how challenging it is to be a human being right now, given the state of the world, given the state of the political climate, given the emotional angst and grief and pain and fear that’s so pervasive right now. It is so challenging to be to be ourselves, to be embodied, to embrace our own emotional interiors, and for us empaths who over index on feeling that much more difficult. And I do believe that one of the most radical acts we can take right now is to embrace our own humanity, to embrace being a human being, rather than a human, human doing. We are highly skilled at being productive and performing and thriving and being ambitious and doing more, and I have it that right now, what’s even more required is to protect our open heartedness. One of my former clients emailed me this week to let me know that she was appreciating my podcast, that it was supporting her in these times, and particularly as she’s about to lose her job in the federal government at the end of next month and become one of the 10s of 1000s who are being let go. And I noticed I felt such anger, such anger and fury on her behalf. In her email, she forwarded me a newsletter that she thought that I would appreciate, and I did appreciate it so much so that I want to share some of the words with you today as we begin today’s episode, because I think that the dangers of a calcified heart are what feel the most alive for me right now, what feel most what feels super present in conversations I’ve been having with clients and with myself. So these words come from Daniel Hunter, the founder of choose democracy. These words come from Daniel Hunter, the founder of choose democracy. And the newsletter is Action Network, which is an open platform empowering individuals and groups to organize for progressive causes and encourage responsible activism. Here’s what he says, something every single person fighting authoritarians told us, protect your psychology, let your heart stay soft. Their aim is to wear you down. Everyone talked about the overwhelming, all consuming nature of living under an authoritarian regime, how an authoritarian attempt, how an authoritarian attempts to occupy all spaces and times in response, some of us feel we have to react to everything and burn out, or others try to tune it all out and shut Down. Nearly every person we interviewed talked about the danger of a calcified heart that can’t be open to the shifting terrain and to previous opponents when they are ready to turn towards us. Starting this week, I noticed I have been seeking permission from friends to take care of myself and find a better rhythm amidst it all. Today, I want to give that permission to each other and ourselves, to honor our grief at all the horror we’re seeing and enact behaviors for sustained activism. The behaviors each of us needs to take will be different because our needs are different, but we live in a dominant culture where being human is under attack, so it’s against the grain to feel the feelings of sadness, rage, pain, the inability to stop bad things. Now those words speak deeply to me, because if you’ve been here a while, you know that my foray into coaching came by way of the federal government. I was a senior economist with one of our statistical agencies for six years before transitioning into coaching. And before that, I worked in international development and was a Peace Corps volunteer. And as an economist, one of my jobs was to maintain an up to date radar of everything that was happening in the labor economy, in the field of government, health care, and mainly in the fields of government and health. Year, and that was my job description, to really stay up to date and do a whole lot of research around what was happening in those industries. And when I jumped into coaching, and I became so inspired and excited by building my own business, I noticed that I hardened a little On I don’t want to Talk about this Haley. I if these words resonate with you as they do so profoundly for me, I want to leave you with some thoughts to consider as you embrace going against the grain and protecting your own humanity by starting with protecting your own open heartedness. Here is some of the raw, unfiltered truth, but that I believe empaths need to hear right now, one you are not responsible for fixing everything and everyone. The world is super chaotic right now, and pain is everywhere. It is pervasive. You are not meant to carry it all. In fact, you can’t. Your compassion is a gift. It is not a burden, and you need to learn how to protect your own energy and be self compassionate with yourself, so that you can extend that compassion to others and your community around you. Two boundaries are your lifeline, not a luxury. If you do not protect your energy, you will burn out. Something I have appreciated in almost every guest episode I have had on the prosperous Empath over the past two years is that time and time again, one of the lessons learned in becoming a prosperous empath is in learning how to protect your energy, and oftentimes that was on the heels of really coming to terms with Your Own burnout experience stop over giving notice the stop over giving, over listening and over functioning for others at your own expense, as Adam Grant says, become a other ish giver rather than a selfless one three, it is okay to say no. You do not have to explain, justify or feel guilty. If something drains you walk away. Learn how to say no to others while including others and yourself in the conversation. One of the most powerful practices for me in learning how to say no has been to include my feelings in the conversation, sharing my no while also being responsible for the impact that I sense it may have on other people you number four, we cannot be everything for everyone. Learn to answer the question, What’s enough? Consider what’s enough for today? What’s enough for keeping up what’s happening in the news? What’s enough for your charitable donations and your charitable givings. What’s enough for how much emotional labor we extend outward? What is enough for our fundamental need to help support and be productive? If you’re committed to sustained activism and breaking the cords of toxic productivity and internalized capitalism, you must learn to answer this question of what’s enough for yourself and act on what answers you glean. This is a radical act of self love. Number five, your peace is not selfish. The world needs more grounded, whole and centered people. No, the world does not need more martyrs. Taking care of yourself is an act of service. The degree to which you care for yourself is the degree to which you will be able to care for others and for the world around you from a resource place number six, hold the tensions we live in a world of polarity and tensions, perhaps now more than ever, your heart can be breaking right now, and you can also be in deep love with your family, your life, your home, your art. Making this one really hits home for me right now, because I noticed that becoming a mom has been one of the most joy giving. Becoming a mom has become the most joy fueling acts of my entire life. My son is my greatest gift, my greatest teacher, and he has brought endless happiness and joy to my husband and my life, and it is really challenging to protect that joy and that Love and that deep contentment alongside my heart breaking for what is happening to colleagues and the environment and the country that I love so deeply, we get to feel all of it. Number seven, not everyone deserves your emotional labor. Some people thrive on chaos and will use your empathy to fuel their own dysfunction. Step back, let them deal with their own mess. Empaths love to give. Love to be needed. Learn how to navigate the relationships and the problems that are worthy of your learn to navigate the relationships and the problems that are worthy of your time and enter energy and commitment and love. Number eight, Joy is a rebellion. Number eight, Joy is rebellion in a world that’s drowning in negativity and anger, your joy, laughter and light are acts of defiance. Do not dim yourself to match the world’s suffering simultaneously. Don’t spiritually bypass it either you get to feel all of it. Ugh. Number nine, the world will always be loud. You must create your own quiet. Turn off the noise, news, social media, toxic conversations. Protect your mind and protect your space. In Catherine May’s book wintering, she talks about this idea that wintering is a time to practice, doing nothing, slowing down and letting the world recede. We must learn to invite the winter in. We may never choose to winter, but we can choose how the things I do during my wintering are simply the things that sent me on a gentler path. If you’re tuning in in the New England area, you have experienced a winter like we haven’t experienced in decades here in New England, and learning how to slow down and practice letting the world recede around me while I protect my peace has been such a gift, and it has allowed me to respond with so much more intention and purpose, as I come into this spring season number 10, you are powerful. Your ability to feel deeply, it is not a weakness, it is your superpower, but a superpower unprotected, can destroy us. Learn how to use it wisely. Number 11, perhaps one of the most radical acts of resistance that we can take right now is extending the gift of our full presence to ourselves, others and the world around us. Amanda Blake says that the quality of your presence is the transformative agent for for. Us, for us empaths who tend to work in the fields of service and being healers. For us empaths who identify as givers and healers, and those of us who love to care for and provide, I for those of us who identify as empaths, we often work in the field of healing and helping, industries where the quality of our presence is The transformative agent, it is the source of healing and transformation and growth and possibility. I truly believe that learning how to protect your presence and extend the gift of your full presence to yourself and others is one of the most important is one of the most important acts of resistance. Is one of the is one of the most important places you can begin number 12, lovelessness is a boon to consumerism and fear strengthens the world of predatory advisory. Number 12, lovelessness is a boon to consumerism and fear strengthens the world of predatory advising. If you are a first time mom, then you absolutely know what predatory advising does to your algorithms. Anytime I go online, I notice the newest gadget I’m being the newest gadget I’m being sold in terms of supporting my six month year old to sleep or to introduce Sal solids into his diet. We must learn how to invest our money intentionally and purposefully. I said it on our last episode, and I will share it with you again today that in these times, I believe that now we as empathic entrepreneurs and leaders must be committed to thriving rather than surviving. I hope you can take some deep breaths in listening to these words, you have got this. I want to leave you with some words that are such healing words for me. These come from the book all about love by bell hooks. She says, I awakened from my trance state and was stunned to find the world I was living in, the world of the present, was no longer a world open to love, and I noticed that all around me, I heard testimony that lovelessness had become the order of the day. I feel our nations turning away from love as intensely as I felt love’s abandonment in my girlhood, turning away, we risk moving into a wilderness of spirit so intense we may never find our way home again. I write of love to bear witness both to the danger in this movement and to call for a return to love Redeemed and Restored. Love returns us to the promise of everlasting, Redeemed and Restored. Love returns us to the promise of everlasting life. When we love, we can let our hearts speak. If you’re struggling with your own calcified heart, I hope that you can find your own way home again, because I truly believe that when we love we can let our hearts speak. Thank you so much for tuning in. I will see you next time you.