Reflections, Ahas and Lessons Learned on Hosting the First Unbounded Mastermind Retreat

Catherine A. Wood  00:01

Hello, hello, welcome back to the prosperous Empath cat here, y’all, I am just still landing from hosting our first ever unbounded mastermind retreat a couple of weekends ago. And I wanted to record this episode to share. Gosh, what I’m still processing from the retreat, how it went some of the lessons learned some of the highlights. A couple episodes ago, we had Carrie Dobson on the show. And if you listen to that episode, you’ll remember that I shared with her that I was feeling really vulnerable have a hosting this first ever in person retreat for the mastermind, that I had a lot of expectations and hopes for how it would go. And sometimes my anticipation and pressure can can can get in my way. And so we workshopped the retreat on our podcast episode. And it was so incredibly helpful and reassuring and affirming that I was on the right track. So I actually wanted to just record this episode and give you a download and behind the scenes of how it went. Now, I also want to say that everything that was shared at the retreat by the participants, I will hold confidential. But I do intend to share some of my own takeaways as the facilitator some of my own personal insights that were reflected to me. And some of the lessons learned because I think that for many of us who work in transformation, we have a desire for more in person gatherings for more in person opportunities to connect to support one another to build community, especially in this post COVID world I think there’s this real kind of zoom fatigue and this desire for in person connection. And that was absolutely my experience. Over the weekend. I got such a heart felt a full weekend of laughter and belly laughs and support and masterminding and cold plunges. And so many emotions, and laughter and dancing and just all the things. So it was a really powerful weekend and and I really just wanted to give you a behind the scenes. So I haven’t performed I haven’t kind of taken too much time to really think in advance what I wanted to share because this is actually one of the takeaways that I was gifted after, after there. Because this was actually one of the takeaways that I was gifted at the retreat to stop planning so much and start riffing that often my like greatest insights that I offer to clients and the participants in the mastermind is when I just speak off the cuff. So this is an attempt at speaking off the cuff. So let’s see, so the way the retreat started so. In hosting retreat, I always find that it’s really important to set the scene and create the context through which you’re going to be hosting or experiencing retreat. And so something that I prepared as an introduction for the retreat is something that I was first introduced to a couple years ago during my Kundalini yoga instructor training and we were learning about the the sutras which are words to live by of the Aquarian Age. Now, the Aquarian Age is an age that we are currently transitioning into that has been predicted by astrologers for 1000s of years. So we are transitioning out of this Piscean age which is characterized by competition, masculine energy and leadership. And we are transitioning into an Aquarian Age which is characterized by feminine leadership, collaboration, and empathy. And that felt so timely because the unbounded mastermind is all about empathic entrepreneurship, and empathic leadership and something that I really appreciate about the Aquarian Age is that it comes with these five I have sutras or five words, a sutra is a word to live by. But essentially, these are kind of terms or mantras or, or principles to live by. So I wanted to share them with you as a way to set the context for how the retreat went. So the first sutra is to recognize that the other person is you. And I think that that is so compelling, an apt because in a group container, where there is safety, and the container is really held, we are so often a reflection of each other’s next breakthroughs, as well as each other’s stops. So when we can hear someone’s experience here, someone’s opportunities for breakthrough or break down as a reflection of ourselves and our own journeys, then it really takes that group learning to a much deeper level, something that I often say in unbounded is that what we can’t be with another person is a reflection of something that we have yet to make peace with within ourselves. So every time we get triggered by someone else, and community, we can be with some things, some quality about them, it’s simply a reflection of some aspect of our relationship with ourselves that we haven’t yet made peace with. Which, dang is meant powerful. So that’s the first sutra. The second sutra is there is a way through every block. And then we so often try to work around or to go turn or turn the other way. But in reality, like the way is always through, if we continually lead lean in, I love that reminder, there’s a way through every block. The third sutra, when the time is on, you start and the pressure will be off, the pressure will be off, there we go. I love that one also, because I mean, I love them all, let’s be honest. But this one is so powerful, because so often clients come to coaching, wanting clarity. And they think that the fact that they don’t have the clarity is the problem and that when they just generate the clarity, then they’ll they’ll see the path forward, they’ll know what to do, they’ll know where to go, when in reality, like we generate clarity, through taking action through moving forward in the face of not knowing. And it is through our willingness to move forward without having the answers that we generate that clarity, and that opportunity to redirect and pivot as needed as we go. So I just love that invitation to start. The fourth sutra is understand through compassion, or you will miss understand the times it feels so relevant to what’s going on in our world right now that there’s just this deep need to bring a compassionate listening to everyone’s experience, or we will completely misunderstand the times that we’re in, and the last sutra, vibrate the cosmos, the cosmos shall clear the path that feels really timely as well. Because we think that we so often forget this principle that we are all human beings having. We’re all spiritual. Oh, hold on, Haley, I’m gonna say that again. We so often forget that we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience. And I think when we can connect with the energy, the vibration, the higher power that is beyond ourselves, we can realize that we’re so not alone, that there’s so much more access to support and clarity and solidarity and breakthrough transformation magic that is greater than our own limited knowledge. So this is how I set the scene for the retreat. It was such a powerful way to create the container. This was so this was on Friday night when we arrived and then Laura and my intention for Friday was just to to create more connection, more intimacy, more camaraderie among the participants, there were 10 of us total at the retreat. And what was so amazing about the retreat is that I have been declaring the possibility of hosting and unbounded retreats since 2019. When I first launched the mastermind and And we were all set to host the first retreat in April of 2020, at my parents bed and breakfast in Rockport, Massachusetts, and we were all set to go. And then the world shut down, and the retreat was indefinitely postponed. And it was, it was really sad because my parents ended up retiring during the pandemic. So the possibility of hosting it in my childhood home and their bed and breakfast was no longer a reality. And then later that year, I closed the doors of my second company, pack retreats, where we would host transformational retreats around the world. And I didn’t realize how much how much grief, I was still holding from closing down that business from some of the relationships that ended through that journey. And also just kind of the emotional letdown of of all the pieces that it takes to host retreats because retreat retreats are an incredible labor of love. They are deeply transformational and impactful. But they also require so much planning and orientation towards details and logistics. And sometimes you don’t always account for that and how you create the business model or choose choose and aligning your pricing. And there was just a lot of a lot to process when I closed that second company. And I didn’t necessarily realize that when I was consistently delaying hosting our first mastermind retreat that there was just some, some grief to process that I hadn’t welcomed or allowed or acknowledged in. So coming back to this retreat, we really wanted to realign our purpose on that first day, create a sense of intimacy and connection among mastermind errs, who had either had either known each other directly from being in a mastermind cohort together, or knew of one another through joining the mastermind the year before or the year after, or spending a couple of months with their peers. So it was really cool to kind of just see this group of people, most of whom had never met each other in person, although some, although some had and just create from create from nothing. So on Friday, we hosted a couple we played a couple of authentic relating games, which is something that I’m trained in as well and authentic relating games are they’re essentially like dinamika O’s or icebreakers in English, they’re a way to get people into their bodies to cut through some of that superficial level of connection and conversation and the performance, the performance level of relating and connect at a deeper more authentic level. And it was beautiful. So we played one game that’s just like a really fun light game called eyes and toes that I really love and then we hold on Haley. Okay. The first authentic relating game we played is called head and toes. It’s just like a fun light party game to create some laughter and lightness and get people out of their heads and into their bodies. And then we played one of my favorite authentic relating games to support people in becoming more present, it is so powerful. And it’s also really simple. So if you want to take this and run with it by all means the game is called the noticing game, and you invite pairs to sit together facing one another in a room. And I demoed this with Laura in front of the group. And the prompts are really easy. So the invitation is to not anticipate what you want to say. But just to share what arises in the moment. So the first prompt is you have person A and person B, and you go back and forth. So Person A starts by saying, sitting here with you, I notice. And then you just share whatever comes up, it could be a memory, something in your body, an itch or reaction, like whatever. And then Person B responds by saying, hearing that I notice, and then you go back and forth, responding hearing that I noticed, hearing that I notice. And the invitation, again, is to not anticipate how you’re going to respond to just be with what your partner shares, and then respond in the moment. And it was so impactful, I sometimes never know how these games are going to go like if people will, you know, be open to them or take them seriously or, or lean into the vulnerability that they can that they can demand. But this one was really impactful for our group. And one, one of the pieces of feedback we got was that, that they had a real, like, kind of insight that they realized how much they’d been performing in their life, and how incredibly valuable it was to, to just be present. And for me, that was like, it was just so nourishing to hear that and something that I also believe so deeply in the importance of being present with one another. So let’s see. So that was kind of Friday night, in a nutshell, something that I always do at the beginning of retreats is I invite people to share in front of the whole group, what they’re what they’re here for, like, what is it that they are intending to create for themselves from this retreat experience? And then part two, like, what will what will you practice? Like? What will each of them practice, so as to generate their result? I think so often, when we jump into a coaching or transformational container, we put the onus on the retreat facilitator, or on the coach or leader to generate the result for us, when in reality, like we are the source of our own experience, we are the source of our life, we are the source of our own breakthroughs. And so by really inviting each of our each of our participant members, myself included, to really distinguish, like, what are we here for? And how will we practice like, how will you know, that I am practicing in fulfilling and what I said. And so I’m actually going to share with you mine so I shared with the group that my intention for being at the retreat was to create an opportunity to receive, I think, for us empaths, were often so practiced at giving. And the breakthrough for us is so often like more often than not an opening ourselves up in order to be poured back into and receive and have it not be transactional or a tit for tat or something that we are keeping tabs on how much we’re giving versus how much we’re receiving. Like there is an energetic flow of giving and receiving when we truly step into becoming and being a prosperous empath. And that was my, one of my huge commitments from the weekends like really allowing myself to be poured into without restraints. And then the second, the second component that I shared is that I wanted to create deep opportunity to connect with everyone and create deeper connection back and forth because again, so often as a coach, like I’m there to be of service to make a difference for to support others and, and I’ve often received feedback over the years that people want to know more about me. So I wanted to create that reciprocity in the relationship and, and I let everyone know that how they would know whether it was fulfilling was whether I initiated or generated a deep conversation with each of the participants. And I really loved it because at one point on, I think was on Sunday, one of the participants was like, we haven’t had our deep conversation Shouldn’t yet. And I, and I totally acknowledged it. And I was like, absolutely can we have lunch together today and that was so supportive for me like not only me being proactive and sharing what they could expect from me, but also having that accountability and letting me know that I hadn’t yet fulfilled with them. So loved that. So we went through everyone’s intention for being there and what they would practice. And then we also created collective agreements. And I think this is really powerful in any transformational container or retreat, that is a facilitator. You don’t do it for them, and you don’t do it to them, like you actually invite everyone’s collective participation, and requests around what are the collective agreements that you want to create in the space in order to feel empowered in order to feel safe. And in order to really contain, create the container to get what you came here for. And that’s something that I really took from my podcast episode with carry a couple of weeks ago was just that invitation to let your participants lead at times like to not speak first to invite everyone’s leadership. And that’s a huge motto in our unbounded mastermind, that there’s a leader in every chair. Because again, I think a huge component of thriving as an empath is taking on your own self leadership. And you can truly model that in a group container by creating space for everyone to practice their leadership. So that was Friday, in a nutshell, and we ended the night by starting the with the mastermind support. So I had created this very loose agenda for how I wanted to provide support for every participant throughout the whole mastermind weekend. So that are the retreat weekend. So the retreat weekend was Friday through Monday, we rented this gorgeous home in Cape Cod, a couple of my conditions of satisfaction for the retreat, were a hot tub, because I am a water baby through and through, although I am a Taurus, but I grew up by the water. And, and I wanted, I wanted water access, like I really wanted to have that experience of being on land and by sea. And it was perfect. We found this beautiful home on VRBO that fit 10. Although it was a little tight, it was four bedrooms in the main house. People had to share rooms. And that was a whole bonding experience in and of itself. And then in addition to the home, there was a separate bungalow with two bunk beds and some private bath. And then there was a fire pit and a fireplace and a hot pit of a hot tub and a private beach. It was gorgeous. Beautiful. So again, so back to this the loose structure for the for the participants support. So I had listened to another podcast episode. Gosh, who was it? If I remember, I’ll drop it in the show notes. But they were talking about a mastermind retreat that they participated on and how they facilitated supporting every participant throughout the weekend. And I really loved it. Because I think that there’s often power in simplicity. So I generated five questions that I was going to invite everyone to answer in kind of focused one on one support, or one on the group support for everyone there, including myself and Laura. And so I wanted to really create the scene and also model the level of vulnerability that we were going for. So I went first on Friday night. And here are the five questions and if this supports you and hosting your own group containers or retreat experiences, I absolutely welcome you to take these questions and run with them or adapt them in a way that you find helpful. It was incredibly impactful. So the first question was, what are you grateful for? And I didn’t provide a lot of context around the personal or the professional like I really invited to, to for people to share from their own experience. Some people shared about family and business and deepened levels of relationship and support. For me a lot of the things that I shared about what I was grateful for were, in my personal life in my marriage, I think I started there, because truly in my marriage is probably the area of life like I am most proud of, because we have absolutely earned the level of intimacy and love and support and mutual respect that we have for one another through a whole lot of work. And I also shared just how incredibly grateful for the lifestyle I have right now, like, I’m currently recording this episode from my office, and I am looking out and I am watching the sunset over the Atlantic Ocean. And speaking of which, I’m going to hop soon from this episode, because I have to go do my Polar Plunge for the day. And I am immensely grateful for the privilege that it is for me to live by the ocean, to see the water for my office, like I cannot tell you how much spaciousness it creates for me and my being in my energy on client calls, it makes such a profound difference, I truly am immensely grateful for it. Our environment creates so much for us. And I think we so often forget to look at environmental breakdowns, when there’s some experience of misalignment in our personal lives or in our relationship or businesses. That’s certainly been my case in the past. So the second question I invite everyone to share is, what are you excited about. And again, it could be through the lens of your business of personal life. I know I’ve shared about this before on the podcast, but for me, like, one of the things that I am truly most excited about is the next level of family and becoming a mother. Whenever I am blessed to become a mother, like that is something that I am really longing for. Not gonna cry, really longing for and, and it was so powerful to share it in the space with others who are mothers, and could really resonate and relate with that. And I also believe that when we share our intentions and our desires, and our dreams out loud, in a shared space, that our our dreams take take new shape, and they can really shift from an idea to a concept to the fulfillment of that dream. And so I am such a strong believer in in just this knowing that we have to create safe spaces that we have to belong to communities that are where our vulnerability is welcomed, and where our dreams are met with reverence and respect, and support and empathy. Okay. All right. The third question that I invited everyone to share is what’s working? For me, I shared a lot about the back end of my business, I’ve made some huge changes in my support structures in who I have on my team supporting me with tech and back end, I have had a lot of technical breakdowns and difficulties in my business over the past year, which honestly, it’s, it is a whole nother episode. And I will record one because I think I’ve had a huge breakthrough in, in, in the lessons learned from all my tech glitches, and having my website be hacked, like just so many so many lessons learned. But now being on the other side of that, what I’m really noticing working is the people, the people I have in place, the level of trust, and mutual respect and rapport and responsible pneus and self leadership. Like there’s just so much clarity around who I want to be working with, and who I don’t and there’s, there’s acceptance and power in that. And sometimes it really does have to result from an experience of what’s not working. And that was totally my experience. All right. The next question we asked is, where are you struggling? For me, I shared about a couple areas. I mean, I shared about pregnancy, my husband and I are trying and it’s really hard. I’m not gonna lie like it’s actually Very challenging, wanting something so much. And having wanted it for so long and not, not there yet. And just like trying to not add significance and meaning making, but truly be sitting in the question of, of when my timing will be and an opening ourselves up to how we’re gonna get there. So I shared a lot about that. And it was really healing, to be honest again to share about that in such a safe space. So shared about about the podcast. And I know I’ve shared this on a couple episodes before, but it’s actually really challenging for me to host these solo episodes, this one feels a lot easier than in the past. And I think they have become continuously more easeful and have flowed easier as I’ve, as I’ve recorded more and more solo episodes, but like, I am such a relationship forward person, I, I love having that back and forth of energy and vulnerability and intimacy. And I haven’t yet found the means for me to just show up here, record a solo episode, have it flow, have it be just natural and impromptu. And I think that again, I think I’m getting better with it. But I, we have several podcasters in our mastermind. And I was really excited to just share about my experience hosting the podcast and get some support around how I could be more powerful and honestly allocate a little less time to the podcast, and be more efficient in the management of it. Which leads to the final question, which was, where do you need help? IE, how can we help you. And that’s really powerful again, because, you know, help looks different for all of us. Some, some of the requests for help were around like really tactical business support. Others were around individuals, marriages, I wanted support around the podcast and what people saw as next for the mastermind. And it was really impactful, opening myself up, not only as the facilitator of the space, but also sharing so vulnerably into this space. And I, I was really touched by the support and the gold that I took with me and honestly. And so often, like it’s words like it’s specific words that, that touch us, and sometimes we need to hear them. However many times by as many people as it takes in order for them to really land and one of the mastermind ders invited me to consider that some of the most impactful things that I’ve ever reflected to her, or when I’m riffing, or when I’m responding to a question or offering my insights on someone’s struggle or experience. And I loved that, like I loved that reminder that I just need to create more opportunities for me to riff for me to like, jump out of the ocean after one of my daily plunges and just share what I’m present to. So, I mean, on that note, I mean, I need to wrap up because it’s almost sunset and I want to get in the, in the water before the sunsets because it’s really cold here. But it was a really, it was a really magical retreat. There were so many components that were just incredibly affirming and deeply impactful for me personally. One being just the that reminder that deep knowing that when you bring values aligned people together, and you create a safe container for them, for us, for all of us to be vulnerable, that you can create magic and that it’s so often starts with not only creating collective agreements, but also inviting everyone’s participation, everyone’s leadership. We had multiple master minders facilitate different components throughout the retreat. One of our participants led a yoga class. We have many marketing and branding related experts in the mastermind. And we hosted a fireside chat that I moderated, where they shared where they responded to questions from the group through their specific level of expertise in marketing. And it was, it was really magical. And then we had another workshop on SEO, where again, it got to be just a really specific conversation based on people’s questions. So that they were it was just a more customized like more personal, more relatable, because we just invited so much active participation throughout throughout the weekend, we had another mastermind or a lead us in some embodiment practices, and it was just really beautiful, like seeing and witnessing everyone stepping into their zone of genius, and sharing the some of the mastery of their gifts with the group because as empaths, like we are natural collaboration partners, right? Like empathic printers really want to support one another through referrals and meaningful connections. And because we get so much out of it, right, like through being of service through contributing to one another, like it’s very, it’s very life providing for us. And so what I what I witnessed throughout the retreat is that through giving everyone an opportunity to share their zone of genius, it created a more authentic pathway to how everyone could support one another, through having a personal experience of them sharing their gifts. So I really loved that. And I think last, just to close up to. And before we wrap like just three of the lessons that I took with me from hosting the retreat, so the first one is that really around food, Laura and I invited everyone to share their grocery requests. And we did a big grocery run to provide enough groceries for breakfasts and lunch throughout the weekend. And we invited everyone to be as specific as they wanted and asking for what they needed. And that was wonderful. Like it was really lovely to cook and eat together and make snacks and share with one another. But we for dinner we had intended to be more generated in the moment, we made one reservation for dinner. And then the others, we were going to carry in or invite people to do dinner on their own. And we ended up doing takeout on the other two nights. But I didn’t anticipate how much more supportive it would have been if we had gotten more support around meals ahead of time. So I think the next time we host a retreat, I would definitely enroll a chef to come in and cook meals for us so we didn’t have to be handling any of that logistical aspect like the day of because honestly, when you are having heartfelt conversations non stop, like you don’t want to have to think about meals or I don’t I don’t want to think about meals like I’m so blessed that my husband loves to cook so much but y’all I don’t like to cook that was like that was something I would have loved to have not had to have worried about. And then the next piece is more dance parties like on on our second night there we all played different, different genres of music that we love and we danced and we played but chapter which was really fun and I taught some people how to how to dance but chapter like we parthenolide dance but chapter as our wedding song last year, and from my days living in the Dominican Republic, like the Bucha just plays such an important role in my heart. So that felt really nourishing. But when you bring a roomful of empaths together like something I was really present to is just how much energy we all have, like how many how many big feelings we have, and I think next time like I would be more intentional about on purpose, inserting more opportunities to move that energy whether it’s through dance parties or a yoga class ever A day rather than one, but just like more somatic opportunities to embody and digest some of the learnings so that they can land in our body versus just kind of like. So we can create more ways to move that energy. And then the last thing I’ll say, is something that I was really grateful for Laura to have her collaboration and partnership throughout the weekend. Because when Laura and I decided to host the retreat earlier this year, like we were really clear that our biggest intention for hosting the retreat was connection and community. And it wasn’t intended to be an income generating product. So we weren’t necessarily intending to generate a revenue stream from this retreat. And I had to keep reminding myself of that, as we were leading up to the retreat, because like I mentioned earlier, hosting a retreat is a really time intensive commitment. There are so many logistical elements, so many last minute things that come up so many small things to account for and plan for. And you don’t always again, you don’t take that into mind when you’re when you’re getting kind of swept up by the excitement of being together with people that you adore and have never met. And so I I really appreciated Laura’s partnership in just kind of reminding me in the photo in the face of some moments of overwhelm. Cat like, remember why we wanted to host this retreat? Like remember what we’re here for and like, oh my gosh, did we fulfill so I hope that this download was supportive. It was helpful. If you are excited to now host your own retreat or if you’re if you already host retreats and you’re taking away anything new for yourself, I would love to hear. Thank you so much for tuning in and we will see you next time.