Jul 05, 2019 | Your Business

This version of “terminal” can be cured…[Community Series 1 of 4]

A couple weeks ago, I hosted a gathering of women entrepreneurs in my home. It is a monthly gathering that I began this past January in an effort to maintain community and minimize the loneliness that I, and many others, experience as an entrepreneur working from home every day.

I call the group Women in Washington and it has been a joyful event for me that I look forward to each month.

The intention for the gathering is to create a safe space to bring women entrepreneurs together so we can share our obstacles, get support, and find understanding in knowing we’re not alone.

We’re much more alike than we are different.

There’s actually a term for this mindset – it’s called “terminal uniqueness.”

It’s a term that originally stems from the world of recovery work but I believe is applicable for most.

It’s defined as “the false belief that the situation the individual is facing is unlike anything faced by other people and therefore no one else would be able to relate.”

It’s easy to identify “terminal uniqueness” in others.

However, when we’re the ones struggling or facing challenges, recognizing our own “terminal uniqueness” is a little harder to identify.

I cannot tell you how many times I have fallen into this trap myself.

When I am overwhelmed, or I’m experiencing a very normal business downturn, and in the throws of my emotions, I get wrapped up in the false belief that I am the only entrepreneur who has ever experienced this situation. Ever.

Have you ever felt this way?

Struggle or hardship enters your life and your internal dialogue goes something like this…

Step 1: This only happens to me, I must be the worst human being ever (can we say drama?)!

Step 2: Why bother parsing out the facts from my feelings, it doesn’t really matter (feeling a bit sorry for yourself, are we?)?

Step 3: Resist the simple acknowledgement that there’s a breakdown (why problem solve, when I can lick my wounds instead?).

The length of this pattern of destructive thinking endures as long as you (or I) allow it to. That is how we discover our own personal flavor of terminal uniqueness.

So how do you disrupt the pattern of terminal uniqueness? I believe the answer is: COMMUNITY!

Having a community to come home to is a great access point to remembering that you’re a human too. I’ve written about the value of community here and here and here.

Creating a safe space for people to gather, to share vulnerably, to own what’s not working about their business model or partnerships and to feel seen and heard is often all it takes to create an energetic shift.

There is amazing power to simply saying out loud what’s not working in your life, your business, and your relationships. What I’ve seen over and over again is that it’s the first step towards change.

Earlier this year, when I first hosted Women in Washington, I shared how I had committed to speaking publicly more this year. I committed to putting myself out there, leaning into the edge of my comfort zone, and begin to get paid to speak.

Now, 5 months later, this community has inspired me to…

  • Read more (they’ve recommended great books on public speaking);
  • Join a local Toastmasters Club, (something I’ve been avoiding doing for 3 years);
  • Lead a lunchtime talk on The Art of Confidence Creation;
  • And get my first paid speaking opportunity at a leadership conference later this fall.
  • Launch the UNBOUNDED Mastermind

 

None of this would’ve been possible had I continued to operate under my “terminal uniqueness” that I was the only woman scared to put myself out there as a public speaker.

 

ARE YOU READY TO TRULY CREATE YOUR PURPOSE-DRIVEN BUSINESS ON YOUR OWN TERMS?

Inquire about our UNBOUNDED Mastermind & Group Coaching Program.

Get ready to think bigger, dissolve limiting beliefs, & welcome an upgraded mindset to become the architect of your non-negotiable dreams. Eliminate once and for all the hustle-and-grind mentality & step into a higher consciousness that magnetizes clients and opportunities to you. Join our community of heart-centered CEOs and expand your high-vibe network with aligned partnerships, business collaborations and lifelong friends.

Catherine is a Master Certified Coach and bestselling author of Belonging: Overcome Your Inner Critic and Reclaim Your Joy.

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Mindful Spending & Navigating Lifestyle Creep with Cris Caruso

In this episode of the Prosperous Empath®, I’m sitting down with financial advisor and UNBOUNDED Mastermind Alum, Cris Caruso to talk about a phenomenon that many people have experienced in recent years: lifestyle creep. Cris has been in the financial services industry since 2004 and a financial advisor since 2008. Beyond that, she has pursued additional education in understanding how our behaviors shape financial outcomes by earning the Behavioral Financial Advisor designation from Think2Perform. She also earned the Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor credential prior to 2015 as a way to support her LGBTQIA+bclients and continues to use this knowledge to work with unmarried couples and non-traditional families. You’ll appreciate her unique experience throughout today’s episode as she speaks on lifestyle creep, or lifestyle inflation, which is overspending on things that you don’t actually need as your income increases. When you’re early in your career, your spending habits focus on must-haves like housing and groceries. But as your income increases, it’s easy to lose track of what is a necessity and what are simply too many luxuries, and to just keep buying more. Cris and I discuss both values-based and practical strategies on how to identify the areas of your life you should spend generously on and where to be more mindful to reach your long-term goals. How do you live in alignment with your money, especially as an entrepreneur and an empath? You’ll get an answer to this question as you listen to our thought provoking conversation on purposeful spending, the importance of allowing yourself to have fun & fabulous experiences, and more.

Visit this episode’s show notes page here.

The Prosperous Empath® Podcast is produced by Heart Centered Podcasting.

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