Nov 14, 2018 | Your Relationships

Catherine A. Wood

Why Self-Love Does NOT Equal Self-Indulgence

Last night on our coaching call, a client shared one of the greatest gifts she has received from working with me…

She used to relate to self-love as self-indulgence, and now she sees self-love as a form of self-respect.

I was blown away by the potency of her statement, and just how true that is for so many of us.

What I notice is that this seems to be a common pattern with people: They tend to relate to self-love as self-indulgence, as if loving themselves means they actually deserve to indulge.

In my experience, this actually helps to explain why people who do make high incomes carry credit card debt or why people do hold onto excess weight.

I was really struck with the high level of response and interest in my blog post last Friday, and what I got from my client’s aha moment is that the misinterpretation between self-love and self-indulgence is where it stems from.

We relate to self-love as deserving to indulge ourselves.

I think of little girls who have their dads wrapped around their fingers. It’s like they’ve trained their parents, or their father, or even themselves to give into their every little want as an act of proof that they’re deserving of love.

But in listening to my client last night and sharing in her experience, I really got that—when we completely love ourselves—then from there we can actually respect ourselves sufficiently to put boundaries in place in service of ourselves.

Boundaries around our expenses, our credit card debt, our physical health…

…boundaries that truly honor the person we want to be rather than who we are.

A beautiful place to practice this might start with self-care. From a place of truly honoring and respecting your body, what would expressions of that respect look like? What are the well being practices you would empower? How would you nourish your body? How would you enroll in exercise?

Another place to look is relationships. This is another area where the importance of self-love as self-respect truly shows up. Because from truly honoring and respecting ourselves, people can say whatever they want to us, and their words don’t actually become a reflection of us. They’re just a mirror—a reflection—of the other person.

Recognizing that self-love does not equal self-indulgence means that we get to respect ourselves enough to know ourselves and honor who we want to be.

If you find yourself wanting a shift in your own life in this area, I invite you to a complimentary coaching session to explore what’s truly possible in your life from choosing to honor yourself..

How will you practice this week? Share with us in the comments below.

To fully loving and respecting who we want to be,

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Mindful Spending & Navigating Lifestyle Creep with Cris Caruso

In this episode of the Prosperous Empath®, I’m sitting down with financial advisor and UNBOUNDED Mastermind Alum, Cris Caruso to talk about a phenomenon that many people have experienced in recent years: lifestyle creep. Cris has been in the financial services industry since 2004 and a financial advisor since 2008. Beyond that, she has pursued additional education in understanding how our behaviors shape financial outcomes by earning the Behavioral Financial Advisor designation from Think2Perform. She also earned the Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor credential prior to 2015 as a way to support her LGBTQIA+bclients and continues to use this knowledge to work with unmarried couples and non-traditional families. You’ll appreciate her unique experience throughout today’s episode as she speaks on lifestyle creep, or lifestyle inflation, which is overspending on things that you don’t actually need as your income increases. When you’re early in your career, your spending habits focus on must-haves like housing and groceries. But as your income increases, it’s easy to lose track of what is a necessity and what are simply too many luxuries, and to just keep buying more. Cris and I discuss both values-based and practical strategies on how to identify the areas of your life you should spend generously on and where to be more mindful to reach your long-term goals. How do you live in alignment with your money, especially as an entrepreneur and an empath? You’ll get an answer to this question as you listen to our thought provoking conversation on purposeful spending, the importance of allowing yourself to have fun & fabulous experiences, and more.

Visit this episode’s show notes page here.

The Prosperous Empath® Podcast is produced by Heart Centered Podcasting.

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